Itsy Bitsy Kidsy
by Deliciously Delirious
Summary: After being turned into a baby by Jewelry Bonney, Kid is left in the care of Trafalgar Law while his own crew hunts her down. Includes crack, tears, karaoke, sickness, fluff, and so much more! FINALLY FINISHED!
1. Maternal Instincts

**Itsy-Bitsy-Kidsy**

**WARNING: Heavy language, some OOCness brought on by hormones, some infant-related nudity, and will turn into a YAOI later on. WAY later on. I'll place more warnings at the beginning of each chapter. This is slightly AU (alternate universe) and I'd place it as... right before Bonney entered the New World and got caught, and Before Kid entered and raised hell.**

**If you are reading my ZoSan fic Frostbite, I'm terribly sorry. By the way, this is my first attempt at a Supernova-related fic, so forgive me if I screw up on something. **

**DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN ONE PIECE. IT BELONGS TO ODA. IF YOU DON'T KNOW THAT BY NOW, YOU'RE A MORON.**

**Enjoy!**

Every Supernova knew how much of a gluttonous, spoiled bitch Jewelry Bonney could be. Most of them just put up with it, and avoided her company at all costs, such as openly avoiding buffets and larger restaurants.

Or just high tailing out of there at the first sign of her ship—whatever worked was fine. However, since Whitebeard's recent death, Bonney was nowhere to be seen, for the most part. She was preparing to head to the New World to find his killer, blah, blah, blah.

Trafalgar Law, having just saved the lives of Monkey D. Luffy and former Shichibukai Jimbei, wasn't about to leave his comfy spot on the Grand Line anytime soon. A small island near the Sabaody Archipelago was an excellent hideout for the smug little bastard while he waited for the eleven rookies to wipe themselves out.

Even though Law _had indeed _heard rumors that the pink-haired pirate was gathering the necessary supplies on the same island he was docked at, he was far from worried. After all, Bonney was like a spider—harmless unless provoked.

However, Eustass Kid, working with the fact that he was a ruthless killer, had the uncanny ability to piss just about anyone off. That talent did NOT come in handy in most cases, especially when he was in close quarters with any other Supernova. To top it all off, he was _also_ on the same nameless isle that Law and Bonney had stopped at.

In fact, Kid was within the same town as the others, and was in a particularly foul mood when he walked into a seedy, poorly lit tavern, alone, and at four in the morning.

The poor redhead was in for a rough night, or day, as it would soon be.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" Bonney screamed around the two pounds of food in her mouth. She had been sitting in the center of three tables, and empty plates surrounded her like a fort. Kid's eyebrow twitched, but he ignored the question and sat down at the bar.

"Strongest shit you have," he growled at the bartender, who simply nodded, unfazed by the malice in Kid's voice.

"Oi, dumbass! Did you not hear me?" Bonney leaped off the tables, hands pressed into her hips. The redhead didn't even turn around, but grabbed the glass of clear liquid that slid across the length of the counter. Kid sipped the alcohol, hoping that it would, at least, make Bonney seem a little quieter.

It just pissed her off even more. Big surprise.

She rushed up next to him and kicked his stool out from under him, which flew into the adjacent wall and shattered into pieces. Kid landed on the floor, face and chest wet from his spilled drink.

"Do I have your attention _now_?" Bonney barked.

"Yes," Kid seethed as he stood up. "You do."

"Oi, oi," the bartender called. "Ya break it, ya pay fer it!" Both rookies ignored him.

"Repel," Kid hissed with a demonic smile. Bonney's unused steak knives soared into his right hand with purple sparks. He held them in front of his face, grinning evily. Bonney dashed out the door before he could attack.

"Catch me if you can, stupid!" she teased.

"Cowardly bitch," Kid grumbled and chased after her. He didn't notice her crew following them, and continued sprint down a dark street.

_Yes!_ Bonney though. _I'm gonna end this bastard before he can reach the New World, and easily. Just have to make him run a little further. _

"This way, retard!" she called to behind her. Kid was on her tail, shooting the knives forward like bullets. He saw Bonney's silhouette in a street lamp, and she suddenly turned left, into an alley.

"Gottcha, bitch!" Kid growled as he skidded to a halt.

Bonney was nowhere to be seen.

"No," she whispered from behind. Kid spun around, but felt himself falling on to the street. He landed on the wet ground with soft thump.

"_I've_ got _you_," Bonney declared.

She had turned him into a baby. A helpless, albeit enraged, baby, who was nothing more than a wiggling lump in the center of his coat.

"Sencho!" her crew had arrived to see her flinging Kid's massive coat over her shoulder into a pile, and picking an infant off the ground.

"That was too easy. Almost no fun," Bonney wrapped Kid in his pants, who just looked utterly terrified.

"Wha id yoo do oo me?" _(What did you do to me?)_ Kid screamed. Had he been fully grown, the question would've scared Bonney shitless.

"Simple," she gave him a bounce that startled him. "You're a baby now. Don't worry, I'm sure someone will take good care of you."

"Wha de fuch do yoo mee?" _(What the fuck do you mean?) _He stared at her with massive eyes.

"Well, I'm not so evil that I would kill a baby, so I'm just gonna leave you here. The odds of your crew finding you here are slim to none, and plenty of rich people would be happy to buy you at an auction. You're so damn cute, after all!" she cried and gave him a squeeze.

Kid had long passed the "scared" stage, and was on to the "my-life-is-going-to-end-soon-all-because-I-let-her-get-behind-me" stage.

"Lemme go! Pu me dow!" _(Let me go! Put me down!)_ The redheaded infant screeched and thrashed around in Bonney's arms.

"Quit squirming! Do you want me to drop you?" she yelled in his ear.

"I wood pwefew da!" _(I would prefer that!) _Kid cried, but ceased moving. She had practically tied him up with his pants, making escape impossible. (A/N: As if it wasn't already, dumbass).

"Now, where to put you," Bonney muttered as she scanned the narrow alleyway they were in. "Perfect! Oi, you, empty that trash can and bring it over here!" she ordered a crewmate.

"Wha aw yoo doeen?" _(What are you doing?)_ Kid watched helplessly as his oversized coat was stuffed into the metal can, shoulder spikes first. It filled the receptacle just enough for Kid to fit, much to Bonney's pleasure.

"Don't bother with an air hole," she scolded her nakama as he attempted to cut a slit in the lid with a knife. Kid fought against his bindings, wishing that he had let Killer join him.

"Well," Bonney smiled, "it's been nice knowin' ya, Eustass Kid!"

And she slammed the lid shut.

* * *

><p>"Morning, Penguin," Law yawned as he walked into his ship's kitchen.<p>

"Morning, Sencho. Sleep well?" the capped man responded as he sipped his coffee, feet propped up on the table.

"Eh, for once, I didn't. Kept getting the same weird feeling all night. Doesn't matter, though," he stated as he grabbed his full mug from the counter. The one with animal spots all over it; go figure! Law walked outside to the largest deck, and was greeted by the rising sun.

And Bepo.

"Captain!" Law casually sidestepped his regular morning glomp, which distressed his polar bear friend. "Is something wrong, Captain?"

"No, I just didn't want you to spill my drink," he replied.

"But I've never spilled your drink before when I hug you. Are you sure nothing's wrong?" Bepo seemed genuinely concerned.

"No, Bepo, I'm fine," Law snarled. Realizing that he had snapped at his friend, he instantly apologized. "Sorry about that. I just didn't get enough sleep last night, that's all."

"Maybe getting outside will help. We are in need of supplies," the oversized plushie offered.

"Yeah, why not," Law agreed. "We'll leave in half an hour."

**Meanwhile…**

"Oi~!" Kid screamed as loud as he could, all it did was resonate against the lid and hurt his ears. He had begun to feel light-headed, and realized that he was running out of air.

"Help! Sumum, amywum!" _(Help! Someone, anyone!)_ No matter how loudly he called or how frequently, not a soul stopped to see if something was wrong in that alleyway.

Mostly because poverty was rampant, crime was a normal thing, and keeping to yourself was often a matter of life or death. Given those circumstances, few islanders had children, or even considered sexual intercourse—raising a kid was _not_ an option in life.

So, why the fuck did Trafalgar Law decide to stay at such a shitty place?

His crew had been pondering the exact same question for some time… Anyway, back to the story!

"I dun wanna die hewe! HELP!" _(I don't want to die here! HELP!)_ Kid forced an arm out of the net that encased him, and managed to punch the lid upwards. Light came through for a moment, but the opening sealed too quickly for fresh air to enter.

The baby's arm fell away; he was too weak to continue.

"Fuch yoo, Jewee Bonnee!" _(Fuck you, Jewelry Bonney!) _Kid screamed before he passed out.

At that moment, Law was examining a grossly bruised bunch of bananas at a fruit stand, when a chill came over him. He brushed it off, but not completely.

"Bepo, do you have what we need?" Law asked his bear friend, who had only a few bags in his arms…paws…whatever!

"Yes, Captain!" Bepo declared. Law nodded, and they left the small street market to the even smaller port they had docked at. Suddenly, something caught his eye in the gutter.

"Stop," Law held a hand up and trotted over to the shiny object. He bent over and plucked it.

_Eustass-ya's goggles…_ Law's stomach dropped like a freefalling elevator. Why? Because the Heart Pirate captain had little bit of a crush on the fellow Supernova. He didn't really care if his crew found out, since they weren't really _feelings_ exactly.

_It's just a deep concern for his well-being. _He reminded himself.

"What's that in your hand, Captain?" Bepo inquired as Law gripped the simple piece of headgear tightly.

"Bepo," he stood up and turned to the fluffy, white bear. "Can you find a scent on this?"

"Sure…" Bepo pressed the goggles against his nose and inhaled deeply. "Um…smells kinda like that Eustass fellow."

"Can you follow it?" the bear nodded, sniffed the air, and walked back up the street. Law followed his friend for several blocks as they hunted for Kid.

Finally, Bepo lead them into an uncomfortably thin backstreet. The jumpsuit-wearing polar bear stopped and pointed at its sole inhabitant: a trashcan.

Law felt his blood freeze, but didn't let it alter his lax facial expression. He stepped over to it and steeled himself, expecting a mutilated body or something equally gruesome.

He gripped the lid's handle and pulled it off in one swift motion.

His jaw dropped.

His eyes bugged.

"_Eustass-ya?"_

* * *

><p>Killer paced the main deck of the ship faster than he usually did. Worried didn't begin to cover how he felt about his captain. It had been hours since Kid vacated the ship, growling about wanting a drink. Killer had offered to join him, but the redhead wanted to go alone.<p>

"Killer-san," a crewmate touched his shoulder. "Calm down. Sencho will be fine; he always is."

"Mmm…hope you're right."

However, Killer's strange, inexplicable sense of dread still remained.

**Well, I hope you liked it! To be honest, I was going to have Killer care for Kid, but the thought of Law humiliating Kid was to good to pass up. This is a bit of an intro chapter, so the ones to come will be much longer. I apologize if it seemed a little choppy and abrupt, I really wanted to get to the point. **

**IF YOU DO NOT REVIEW, I WILL COME TO YOUR HOUSE AND EAT YOU! RAWR! (I'm desperate!)**


	2. Mutiny, I Tells Ya!

**Itsy-Bitsy-Kidsy **

**Warning: possible OOCness, really bad lisping, that's about it. DISCLAIMER: I don't own One Piece.**

The Heart Pirates had long since gotten used to the oddities that made up the Grand Line, but Trafalgar Law's crew still did the ye olde, proverbial 180 when they saw him sprinting down the street, clutching something into his chest like it meant his life. Shachi happened to be at the periscope when he saw his captain hurdling towards the ship at Mach Two, with Bepo rushing behind.

Several members decided to meet Law at the entrance to see what had made their normally laid-back leader so energetic, and so quickly, at that. They had five seconds of preparation before Law launched himself onto the submarine and skidded to a stop on his heels.

"Sencho, what's going on? What's that in your arms?" Shachi questioned as Law kicked the massive door in.

"Eustass Kid," he panted. "He's unconscious, so prepare an oxygen tank and find his ship!" Law ordered as he rushed the blue-tinted infant to the sick bay. Rather than pry for answers, his crew obeyed, and in minutes, Law was pressing an undersized, plastic mask to Kid's face.

"Captain, there's another port on the opposite side of the island. Should we search for them there?" a crewmate with a dark green cap asked.

"Yes…" Law answered as he pulled out a stethoscope. Kid had finally begun to respond, and was starting to squirm on the adult-sized surgical bed. _Good, his pulse is strengthening. If he can still talk, I'll ask him what happened when he wakes up. _

"Captain, how can you be sure that's Eustass Kid?" Bepo wondered aloud as his fuzz-topped friend checked the baby's eyes for a response.

"Name one other _person_ _in the world_ who has this red of hair, dark lipstick, and yellow eyes. Hell, you carried his coat back here, and it was with him. It's kind of obvious," Law reasoned as Kid came around.

"Hah~!" the redhead yawned cutely, like any normal baby. His eyes opened slowly, and rubbed them with his tiny fists, unaware that Law was wrapping him up in a blanket.

"Good to se that you're alive, Eustass-ya. How do you feel?" Kid froze.

"Fawga? Why awe yoo ah mah sip?" _(Trafalgar? Why are you on my ship?)_ His vision soon cleared, Law's silhouette taking up most of the space. Kid was able to see his hands in front of his face, eyes widening in realization. Suddenly, an ear-splitting scream rang out, scaring half the crew shitless.

"So you do remember," Law smirked, feeling somewhat proud.

"How deh fuch cuwd I aw'te wemeba, yoo basawd!" _(How the fuck could I not remember, you bastard!)_ Kid began to wiggle in his wrapping, panicking about the situation he had just entered. He had managed to flip onto his belly and crawl a few inches before Law scooped him into his arms.

"Get a grip, Eustass-ya. We're on our way to your nakama, so just try to tell me what happened," the normal-sized captain scolded as he held Kid tighter.

"Why shud I feew yoo amifing?" _(Why should I tell you anything?) _Chibi-Kid growled as deeply as he could manage.

"Because I just saved you from dying of asphyxiation," Law argued as he held the redhead up to eye-level. That got Kid.

"Fime. I mef Bonnee im a baw, wide oo figh hew bu' she go' de swip ow meh, may meh wike dis, an' weff meh dewe. Hapee?" _(Fine. I met Bonney in a bar, tried to fight her but she got the slip on me, made me like this, and left me there. Happy?) _Kid recalled reluctantly.

"Delighted. What time did you leave your ship?" the Heart captain continued the interrogation as he carried the little one outside.

"Fo owe fiv im deh mouwig… Oh shif! Kiwe's pwobawe fwippig ou' wigh mow! Wha 'ime is if?" _(Four or five in the morning… Oh shit! Killer's probably flipping out right now! What time is it?)_ Kid's head snapped around, searching for a clock.

"Calm down. It's about seven in the morning, and we're already on our way to your crew. By the way, I think Bonney stole your weapons and that sash of yours. And the gold bracelets," Law pointed out, much to Kid's dismay. A voice suddenly came over the ship's intercom.

"_The Kid Pirates are within sight."_ Unfortunately, the newly infant-ized captain realized something horrifically embarrassing.

"How am I supoosed oo face mah crew wike dis?" he cried, freaking out once again.

"That's not my problem, Chibi-Eustass-ya," Law stated, smirking a little.

"YOO BASAWD!"

* * *

><p>After another hour of wearing a rut into the deck, Killer began to relax and sat down next to the figurehead, as he normally did. He was about to stop worrying altogether, when someone in the crow's nest screamed that they saw an incoming ship.<p>

"Marines?" the first mate called back.

"No, it's not them. Wait a minute…" the voice trailed for a moment.

"Well, who is it?" Killer was slowly becoming anxious again, as well as annoyed.

"Holy shit! It's the Heart Pirates, and they're captain's on the deck with something in his arms!"

Killer could've wept in frustration; his captain had disappeared, and now these weirdoes had arrived! But, rather than cry, Killer prepared his scythes and began to bark orders to the rest of the crew. However, when the yellow sub was finally within range, something deep within the blonde told him not to attack.

Or maybe it was Law holding up his left hand up in the universal sign for peace—flip a coin. Soon, the North Blue pirate was signaling for Killer to come onto his ship, and he obliged.

"If something goes wrong, you know what to do," Killer instructed his blue-haired, zombie-like crewmate, Eddie, who nodded silently. Using his super agility, the masked man effortlessly jumped to Law's side in one try.

"Thank you for not attacking," the dark-eyed man stated as he slightly rocked the bundle of blankets in his right arm. Killer soon noticed that it was a baby, which just pissed him off further.

"Congrats on your kid and all, but if you came all the way here just to tell us, you're a jackass," Law noticed Kid tense up in frustration. He turned so the two nakama could face one another, and grinned smugly.

"Mowom! If's meh, dumbash!"_(Moron! It's me, dumbass!)_ The redheaded baby shrieked angrily. Law's smirk stretched from ear to ear as he witnessed Killer's eyes pop out of his mask, then fall over. Fortunately, he stood up before Eddie could initiate an assault.

"Um, WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED?" the blonde screamed as loudly as frightened woman, hurting Kid's sensitive ears.

"Oi, foo wowd!" _(Oi, too loud!) _He scolded, pressing his miniature hands against his ears. Kid sensed the vibe that Killer couldn't understand him as easily as Law could, and tugged on his shirt.

"What?" the doctor asked, rather impatiently.

"Wanswafe fow Kiwe, he cam umdewsand meh," _(Translate for Killer, he can't understand me) _Kid demanded.

"Fine," he looked at the masked man. "Eustass-ya says you're femininely screeching too loudly." Killer blushed behind his mask.

"Sorry, but how _did_ this happen?"

"Bonnee, dipshif." Law happily rendered that phrase. The South Blue pirate felt a vein throb as he asked for details. The doctor repeated Kid's short story, and Killer felt like facepalming.

"Wew, yoo cam give meh bach oo mah machama mow. Fanks fo evwefing, Waw." _(Well, you can give me back to my nakama now. Thanks for everything, Law)_ Kid stated expectantly.

"He wants to go back with you now," Law explained as Killer carefully removed the redhead from his arms.

"Will you get Kid's things?" Bepo nodded and dashed inside, and the "Massacre Soldier" began to turn back.

"Wait, Killer-ya," the masked man stopped. " I'm not Eustass-ya's favorite person in the world, but I need to make a deal with you."

"Hm? What kind of deal?" Killer's attention was suddenly grabbed.

"It's obvious that your crew has no idea how to care for a child at Eustass-ya's age, and that I'm a doctor-"

"Where are you going with this?" the first mate's eyes narrowed slightly from behind his mask.

"Yea, wha awe yoo 'alking aobou?" _(Yeah, what are you talking about?) _Kid felt dread seep into system.

"Bonney's no where to be found-"

"You want to babysit Kid?" the South Blue captain's jaw dropped.

"Yes, and if you consider it logically, it's the only solution that benefit's his well being." Was Kid hearing that right?

"Well, I suppose you're right, but there will be terms of agreement," Killer struggled to keep hold of his trashing captain.

"After you explain the situation to the rest of your crew, return here," Law concluded. The blonde nodded his head, gripped Kid even tighter, and took off to his ship.

"YOO SOM OF A BIKCH!" Kid screeched at the top of his lungs upon landing. "HOW DE HEW CUWD YOO DO DAT TO MEH? I'M DEH CAPAM AN' YOO WIW WESPEK MAH AUFOROTAY!" _(You son of a bitch! How the hell could you do that to me? I'm the captain and you will respect my authority!)_

"How the hell can I respect a man who managed to get himself turned into a baby?" Killer growled. "Besides, he had a point; none of us here know how to care for you while you're n this state and-"

"I DUM GIVE A FWYIG FUCH!" _(I don't give a flying fuck!)_ He continued to scream. "YOO-!"

"We have no idea how long you'll be like this, or where Jewelry is!" Killer snarled harshly, effectively shutting Kid up. That was when the first mate noticed the looks he was getting.

"Master Kid!" Eddie cried out in surprise. Quickly, Killer explained the situation at hand, which didn't really help at all.

"Look, it's the only_ real_ option we have, and it is_ not_ permanent. Just until we find the bitch, at least," he waited for any objections.

"Oi, wha abou' da suff she sole fum meh?" _(Oi, what about the stuff she stole from me?) _ Kid piped up.

"Don't worry, Master Kid. We'll get it back when we find her," Eddie answered, barely consoling his captain. Killer stared at his blue-haired nakama.

"How the hell can you understand him so easily?" Eddie shrugged and Kid gave a cute baby smirk.

Hell, he was all around adorable!

"Well, if you're going to stay with Trafalgar until we find Jewelry, I think you might want your makeup," Killer stated.

"If's aw'te machup!" _(It's not makeup!)_

* * *

><p>With everything sorted out with the Kid Pirates, the time had come for Law and Killer to set their terms about Kid's temporary residency.<p>

"Befowe yoo ashholes 'alk abou' meh wike I'm aw'te hewe, le' meh ask wu' fig; why do yoo wam oo cawe fo' meh?" _(Before you assholes talk about me like I'm not here, let me ask one thing; why do you want to care for me?)_ Kid inquired from the safety of Killer's lap. Jean Bart had brought two of Law's easy chairs out, in which, the two adult pirates were relaxing in.

"Mostly because you promised Luffy that you'd meet him in the New World, and he'd never drop the matter if he found out I let you stay a baby when I could help. For personal gain," Law clarified, casual as ever. Kid nodded his head, content with the answer given.

"Okay, first thing's first—do you have a Den Den Mushi?" Killer started.

"Of course."

"Good. As soon as we find Jewelry, we'll contact you. If something happens here, you can call us. We'll go out and search for her while you stick around here, assuming that's not an issue."

"It's not."

"Since raising a child is expensive, and I doubt you have the necessary supplies on hand already, we'll give you two million Beli now for any expenses, and another two million later for your services. Anything you need to get across?" Killer asked.

"One thing: when you find Bonney, what are you going to do with her?" Law seemed honestly concerned with the matter.

"No idea, but we're likely to ambush her and bring her back. We're going to cross that bridge when we reach it, I suppose," the Massacre Soldier replied as he stood up, as did the doctor. "This is all of Kid's creature comforts, please don't let him do anything stupid."

"I assure you, he will be well taken care of," Law said as he took Kid in his arms. Penguin took the small backpack filled with cash and the redhead's stuff and went inside.

"Trafalgar," Killer warned, his voice suddenly lethal. "If any harm whatsoever comes to my captain while you're watching him, I won't give you the chance to regret it. Our entire crew is trusting you to protect Kid, and you'd better not break it."

"I swear on my life, no harm will come to him." Law had just made the deal of a lifetime.

"Oi, Kiwe," Kid finally spoke up. "Siss whe have yoo be' mah mofew?" Killer's head cocked to the side, ever so slightly.

"He says, 'Since when have you been my mother?'" For the umpteenth time that day, the blonde felt a vein throb on his forehead. He sighed.

"Just stay out of trouble, okay? I plan on having a fully-grown captain when I'm in the New World."

And with that, Killer back flipped onto his ship, and Law carried Kid inside, wondering what color of onesie would look good on him.

Yeah, Kid was so screwed.

**Sorry if I'm wrong about Killer being the first mate. In the next chapter, it's going to get even better, I swear. **

**You now that sense of pride and self-satisfaction you get when you see that your story has received more reviews? I happen to enjoy it, so PLEASE REVIEW! (I've got nothing else to live for...)**


	3. A Very, VERY Rough Start

**Itsy-Bitsy-Kidsy**

**WARNING! Chapter contains: Plenty of crack, a rabid Mary-Sue, minimal OOCness, and, if your a Law fan, wanting to kill the author for what she wrote. DISCLAIMER: I don't own One Piece!**

**So sorry for the late update! Crazy week! Special thanks to _Insomania, Vampire Revan, 13QuarterQueen13, Me, and trunksfan002 _for reviewing my latest chapters! Now, ONWARD WITH THE STORY!**

Kid realized how truly screwed he was when the gigantic, waterproof door was shut behind him. Oh, how that noise would haunt him! Traumatic experiences aside, the redhead was concerned with his age, and what it limited him to. Luckily for him, Law had all the answers.

"Oi, Fawga," Kid tugged on the doctor's shirt, "do yoo 'ow how owd I am?" _(Oi, Trafalgar, do you know how old I am?)_ The doctor stopped in his tracks, not far from the door, and shifted the baby captain to his hands.

"I'd say you're about…" Kid squealed lightly when Law lifted him to eye-level and bounced him to guess his weight. "Nine to ten months. Just a tad shy of a year." He returned the redhead to a much safer position and began walking again.

"An' da meens?" Kid had a terrible feeling in the pit of his stomach.

"It means we're going to blow the first two million on diapers and formula alone," Law replied bluntly. He failed to notice the expression of pure horror Kid was giving him. You know the one; eyes the size of dinner plates, perfect "o" of a mouth, face blown up three times normal size.

"Yuw jo'ig, wigh?" _(You're joking, right?)_ Law shook his head, and Kid feigned death from embarrassment. "Espwais why babies don' wemembe amyfig…" _(Explains why babies don't remember anything)_ He muttered. In only a few moments, the pair had reached the infirmary, and the awaiting crew.

"Well, everyone, meet our temporary charge," Law held Kid at an angle so everyone could see him. The South Blue captain blushed as red as his somewhat wispy hair when a chorus of "Aw's" drifted to him. The doctor smirked and laid Kid back down on the same bed as earlier, only to wrap him even tighter in the same blanket.

"Sencho…" Penguin trailed as he offered up the small, black rucksack. The redheaded baby made him fairly nervous, given who that infant really was. Law noticed the sudden wave of uneasiness that crashed over his subordinates and took action. Taking Kid's bag in his left hand, and Kid himself in his right, the doctor walked off in the direction of his private room, but stopped at the door.

"Set a course for Sabaody Archipelago," Law smirked happily. "We're going shopping."

Kid really felt like killing himself at that very moment.

After a good two minutes' walk through stairs, steamy hallways, and emergency flood doors, Law's bedroom was _finally_ reached. The redhead was slightly taken aback by the respectable size of the room itself, and the amount of light that two small portholes let in.

A king-sized, rounded bed that had the Heart Pirates' Jolly Roger on it took up a fair portion of the floor, but most of the other furniture was rather compact. Kid rolled his eyes when he noticed the spotted wallpaper and thick, white carpeting; in the corner of his eye, he saw, what he believed to be, the bathroom door. They were nice digs and all, but the posh lounge in the corner of the room was taking it a teeny bit too far.

"Oi, be cawfuw wif da' suff!" _(Oi, be careful with that stuff!) _Kid scolded Law when he tossed his bag onto the bed; he was easily ignored. The redhead practically flew out of the doctor's arms when he was close enough to the bed, and struggled to crawl, with just his arms, to the center.

"At least you can move on your own," Law sighed as he stretched out on his belly next to the South Blue captain. He had to suppress a snort as he watched Kid grapple with the stuck zipper on the front of the knapsack—baby hands are _not_ dexterously advanced. After several minutes of tugging, squeezing, and going nowhere, the doctor plucked the bag out of Kid's grasp, pulled the fabric away from the slide, opened it, and gave it back.

Kid did not appreciate Law's help in the slightest, and made sure to let him know.

"Oi! Wha da hew do yoo finch yuw do'ig? I was fi' oh mah ow', asshow!" he pouted as he went through the bag. "Mmmm… Whewe is if?" _(Oi! What the hell do you think you're doing? I was fine on my own, asshole! Mmmm… Where is it?) _Soon, Kid had his entire arm shoved deep inside the main pocket, blindly searching for a valuable. He sat up on his rather pudgy knees and forced his face inside, not that it did much. The redhead's blanket had fallen off and bunched around his legs, but still covered his "area of concern."

"What are you looking for, anyway?" Law asked, cool as ever. He had turned to his side, parallel to Kid, and propped his face on his left hand, elbow digging into the mattress.

"If yoo mus' mow, mah goggews. I'm shuwe Kiwe pached dem fow meh," _(If you must know, my goggles. I'm sure Killer packed them for me.)_ He replied, still shifting through sack with his head. Kid had owned those goggles since before he was even a pirate; he wore them around his neck when they were too big for his forehead. Despite the fact that he couldn't wear them in any way at that moment, he always felt complete when they were in his sight.

"You mean these?" the doctor said as he removed Kid's precious headgear from his back pocket. The South Blue baby instantly yanked his noggin out and tried to snatch them from Law's hand, but completely missed. Kid blinked and tried again, succeeding. Slipping the goggles over his head, he frowned when fell past his navel.

"Why did yoo ha' dem im yow poche? Did'm yoo gi' dem oo Kiwe?" _(Why did you have them in your pocket? Didn't you give them to Killer?)_ The redhead wondered aloud as he held them in front of his eyes, checking for cracks and damage. Law had to bite the inside of his cheek to keep himself from laughing at such an adorable sight, and answered in his usual monotone voice.

"I guess the two of us forgot about it. I've also got your coat and pants; your boots were nowhere to be seen."

"Fievig bich," Kid huffed, which turned into his trademark sadistic grin. "I'w ge' dem bach whe' I kich hew ass!" _(Thieving bitch. I'll get them back when I kick her ass!)_ Judging from the evil gleam in his eye, he meant to say, "When I beat her within an inch of her pathetic life." Out of the blue, Kid's wild smile turned into an expression of growing concern.

"What's the matter, Eustass-ya?" Law inquired in his usual tone, one eye closed.

"Do yoo ha' a miwwow, Fawga? I 'eed oo see wha I wook wike," _(Do you have a mirror, Trafalgar? I need to see what I look like.)_ Kid replied honestly. The doctor nodded and rolled off the bed, pulling a small circle of glass from his cube-like nightstand. The redhead held it carefully between his palms; his fingers were almost a lost cause. Law smirked as the baby captain re-angled the mirror repeatedly, as if changing the way he saw himself would fix the problem.

"Well, I think you're quite adorable, _Chibi-_Eustass-ya," the grey-eyed man teased. Of course, Kid easily fell for the taunt.

"Do'm caw meh da! I'm aw'te cue, dami'!" _(Don't call me that! I'm not cute, damnit!)_ He shrieked. Too bad he was totally wrong—bad for him, I mean.

His gravity-defying, thick hair was obviously thinned down, but maintained its bloody color. Multiple cowlicks around Kid's crown allowed it to appear vertical, as it had since his hair first grew in. Skin that was normally milky white had a healthy, pinkish tint on his face, and was soft all over his body. The baby captain's yellowish eyes had been de-aged into a pair of large, clear orbs, and his pupils were slightly dilated, giving him an intelligent expression, but still making him as cute as a button.

Kid grasped the mirror in one hand and opened his mouth, pulling his delicate, sensitive lips away from his gums, revealing five or more teeth. The ironic thing was, he still lacked eyebrows; that didn't seem to bother him in the slightest. The redhead sighed and put the mirror down by Law, who silently put it away and pulled out a pad of paper and a pen.

"Get over it," the tired-looking man scolded as he tested the writing utensil. "You're a baby until your crew finds Jewelry, but that could take some time. She probably left that island as quickly as she could, and the conditions were perfect for a getaway." Law continued to depress Kid as he scratched down a shopping list, when a ripple crashed through the submarine.

"Wha de fuch was da'?" _(What the fuck was that?)_ The redhead cried as Law acted like nothing happened.

"We just submerged. You'll get used to it," the doctor replied as he wrote down _"Pacifier"_ on the list. If it meant shutting Kid up for long enough to regain a smidgen of sanity, he would buy a freaking wet-nurse. He _knew_ what was going to come out of that baby's mouth. "We should be at Sabaody in about 15 minutes."

"Awigh…" Kid trailed off as he adjusted his blanket to a more useful position. He spoke up once more. "Whewe am I sweepig?" _(Alright… Where am I sleeping?)_

"In here. Specifically, in a playpen," Law answered. Normally, he would've ignored the frustrated glare he was receiving, but chose to respond to it. "Is there a problem with that, Eustass-ya?"

"A'mf I jus' ache de fu'om?" _(Can't I just take the futon?)_ He motioned towards the small sofa in the corner.

"Because, in this state, you're incredibly fragile. If you fall off the side and hit your head, you could die." Infallible logic—one; Kid's dignity and pride—zero. After a moment of silence, Law leaned over to the redhead's bag and removed the bills from the side pockets, counting over them to be sure of the budget. Eventually, the calmness of the room and Kid's fatigue set in, and he laid down for a catnap.

He woke up in Law's arms, walking down a street in Sabaody's tourist grove, but wore an ill-fitting shirt and a diaper.

"Um, WHA DE FUCH HAPPEMD?" _(Um, WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED?) _Kid shrieked in the doctor's ear. He flinched slightly, but answered in his usual smartass tone as they entered a near-empty restaurant. Bepo and Penguin were with them, trailing behind by ten feet or so.

"After you fell asleep on my bed, we arrived here. I sent some of my nakama out ahead of time to purchase diapers for you, they returned, I dressed you, and we went out. We're getting lunch here, then buying you some clothes," Law explained as they took a seat in an oversized booth. Kid was most certainly _not_ satisfied with his answer.

"If yow geff'ig meh cwoffes wa'er, whewe did dis come fwom?" _(If you're getting me clothes later, where did this come from?)_ Kid tugged on the orange shirt that hung down to the center of his bottom (kinda looked like a dress). Suddenly, his eyes outgrew his head and the youthful, pink blush on his cheeks darkened to a harsh red. Law vocalized his horrified thought.

"Yes, I dressed you like a normal baby. Get used to it, since infants don't have control over the muscles in their cores," the expression of pure terror and humiliation increased, but the redhead remained mute. "About the shirt; when I still lived in the North Blue and Bepo was a small cub, my older sisters liked to dress him up. He gets attached to things easily, which is why he has it to this day. It's on a temporary loan."

Bepo denied that he kept the clothing by choice, and Penguin called him a liar. Bepo said he was sorry seconds later.

"By the was, Eustass-ya," Law muttered while the others argued, "try to act like a normal baby when we're in public. That means: no using recognizable language, no giving random people death-glares, and above all else, avoid attracting attention to yourself."

"Ochay, bu' why did yoo bwig meh awo'g, den? Yoo cowd've weff meh behimd an' we' meh sweep." _(Okay, but why did you bring me along, then? You could've left me behind and let me sleep.) _Kid stated, annoyed that he had to travel with this freak show. (A/N: You're one to friggin' talk, dumbass!)

"Are you hungry, Eustass-ya?" he questioned in an expecting tone; a gurgle from the redheaded baby's stomach gave an answer. Just then, a waitress in a forest-green uniform and black apron came up to them, her muddy-brown hair in short pigtails. She seemed friendly enough, a bit naïve and quite stupid, if you asked Law. When he first saw her, that is.

"Hello, my name's Starling, but you can call me Star, and I'll be your server for today," she burbled pointlessly. Law, being an asshole, gave her his best "You're pissing me off" look, which she was too much of a ditz to notice. After ordering their meals, Star winked like failing flirt at the doctor, twirled in place, and skipped off to the kitchen. Penguin was blushing, normal for when women were around, and muttering that he loved the Archipelago.

Upon the slow waitress' return with their food, Kid involuntarily whimpered with hunger, causing her to notice.

"Oh my goodness!" she cried and bent at the waist, flaunting her panties to the floor. "She has got to be the most precious thing I have ever seen! What's her name? How old is she?"

"_He_ is ten months. _His_ name is Kid," the doctor forced the correct pronouns, much to Kid's approval. The redhead was sitting up in Law's lap, and reached toward his platter of food, only to come up short.

"What a nice name…" Star's eyes turned to wistful mush as she lusted for a certain man. Inside her head, she was glomping the man with the furry hat and baby as he pledged his eternal love for her, carrying her off to a chapel and living happily ever after together. After just a little bit more flirting, of course.

"Excuse me, but I have to feed him now," Law warned her as she leaned in too closely. He ended up receiving a direct face full of her chest, mostly because she was in a tight, V-necked shirt. Bepo began to growl deep in his throat, instincts screaming at him to protect his captain and former caretaker.

_There goes her tip._ Kid mused internally as, and this was right above him, people, the doctor began to lose air. However, before Law passed out, Fate took pity on him and made the irritable cook call her back to help clean. Star unhooked herself from Law, blew him a gigantic air kiss from a foot away, and dirty danced away.

"Gwea' pwace, dis is,"_(Great place, this is)_ Kid baited as the doctor cleared the sparks from his eyes with deep breathing. Penguin was firing envious glare after another at his captain, wishing that Shachi were there to talk to. However, the portion of the crew quickly got over the uncomfortable incident, and began to eat their lunch. Law had ordered a plain scrambled egg and rice for Kid, and was mixing the two together make feeding him less of an effort.

"Here," the Surgeon of Death offered a spoon of the rice mixture to Kid's mouth. He wasn't surprised in the least when the redhead refused. In fact, he was counting on it.

"I cam feed mah sewf." _(I can feed myself.) _The South Blue captain snatched the utensil in a loose fist, spilling it all over his outfit before it ever reached his face. Kid squatted on his knees and attempted refilling the spoon, but consecutively missed the bowl. In a flash, Law confiscated the spoon, had the redhead in his left arm, and was force-feeding his man-crush.

"You have _zero_ depth perception. Just give it up, Eustass-ya," he explained as Kid squirmed. His stomach gave out, and he allowed himself to be fed, though he hated every second of it. Shortly after finishing, Kid began to feel satisfied and rather drowsy, and slipped into a state of hazy semi-consciousness while sucking on the tip of a straw that Law had given him. It _was_ once in a glass of water that no one wanted.

"Check, please," Penguin ordered the busboy that came by for their cleaned plates, who nodded in response. A curly-headed waiter dropped off the bill, for which the Surgeon of Death was grateful. They had just paid and were at the door when Star's Glomp Senses were tingling; Law was _not_ getting off that easily.

"_Wait!_" she screamed as the kitchen door irreparably slammed into the wall. "_Don't go! We're destined to be together!_"Law made the horrible mistake of turning around.

"_Holy fuck!_" he screeched even louder than her. For some strange reason, the noise barely bothered Kid, who continued to doze peacefully. She barreled toward him at roughly 200 miles per hour, face distorted with hunger and determination.

"_You will be mine!_" Star cried as they made very painful contact. Just before the impact, Law curled into ball around Kid, successfully protecting him, but the bitch could tackle like a freaking _pro_! The wall cracked with the effort of catching the Devil Fruit user, who was pinned to the floor after he slid down, nerves firing messages to his brain in the form of acute pain. Something wet and warm dripped onto his face, slowly sliding down past his chin—blood.

Well, he was half right; the back of his head was barely bleeding and his shoulder was popped, but the moisture between his eyebrows had a separate source. _Star was drooling on him._ Law cracked his eyes open, only to have them assaulted by her grotesque, animalistic countenance. Fearing for Kid's life as well as his own, he held the baby redhead closer to his chest with his good arm, cringing as saliva spilled into his eyes.

"Get the _fuck_ off me," the dark-haired choked out, his gut being forced into his spine by the rabid female's weight. To make matters worse, Kid finally woke up, received a face-full of Star, and was instantly scared out of his wits.

"We're supposed to live happily ever after," Star growled, more beastly than ever. "Be my husband!"

"Bepo!" Law screamed, blinded by spit. The stunned polar bear snapped into attention at his captain's voice, "GET THIS CRAZY BITCH OFF ME!" Obeying, Bepo body-slammed the waitress-turned-demon, sending her flying at twice the speed Law had reached.

"Sencho!" Penguin cried in concern as he helped his captain sit up. Law laid Kid in his lap and wiped his face off with his hand, left shoulder throbbing uncontrollably. The polar bear crewmate took up a fighting stance, but Star was down for the count, much to everyone's relief. Law grit his teeth, gripped his injured shoulder, and a sickening _POP_ rang out as he reset the dislocated joint. Before the dust had even settled, the cook and owner of the restaurant came rushing forth, their words jumbling into nonsense.

"W-We're t-terribly sorry about this," the female owner stuttered once she had calmed down a degree. The pair was on their knees in front of Law, begging for him not to press charges and to keep it a secret. "Star is our daughter, and, although she has a tendency to do things like this when attractive men are around, we can't afford any more employees. If the Marines fine out, they'd shut us down as a hazard to public safety!" As they continued to plead, the doctor tuned them out.

"I don't care if she does this every day." He cut them off. "Just let us leave, and I'll ignore the fact that she scarred my little friend for life." And with that, Law summoned Bepo, stood up, and evacuated the eatery before anything else could go horribly wrong.

"How cam yoo be so cawm afew da? She waz tewwifyig!" _(How can you be so calm after that? She was terrifying!)_ Kid shook, still feeling her hot, moist breath on his face.

"Eh, it's not the first, nor the last, time that's happened. Now, which way to the infant clothing store?"

Kid gave up all hope at that very moment.

_**PLEASE READ THIS!**_

**Want to kill me yet? No? Good. Yes? I probably deserve it. Yeah, about the wild waitress-I don't really know how she got in there. It suddenly went from 'annoying, stupid waitress' to 'rabid, Law glomping Mary-Sueish fangirl.' THIS IS THE LAST AMOUNT OF CRACK, TO THIS DEGREE, YOU WILL FIND IN THIS STORY.**

**Trust me, it was spur of the moment. Now, I want EVERYONE'S opinion on it. REVIEW OR I KILL LAW OFF IN THE NEXT CHAPTER! GRRRR! **


	4. Day One, DONE!

**Itsy-Bitsy-Kidsy**

**WARNING! Chapter contains: Minimal OOCness, maybe a few too many author notes, and plenty of baby Kid cuteness. DISCLAIMER: I don't own One Piece! I only do this shit for the reviews!**

**AHAHAHAHA! I had a few of you going with the threat of killing Law off. Don't worry, I would never do such a thing (it would throw the whole damn story off)! I just wanted to see who was paying attention. Also, I think I can update once a week, but school's starting again soon. Just got my Tdap and HPV shots. Hurt like hell for days!**

**Now, special thanks to _Yuri17, sarani sayonara, trunksfan002, Me, Vampire Revan, Ebony-Ivory-and-Rachelle, _and _a random Law Fangirl _for reviewing. It warms my heart so! ON WITH THE FICTION!**

Killer was in _that_ mood again. He was in _that_ mood because nothing was going his way, and it just so happened for him to be on his monthly when he surrendered Kid to Law. Yes, it had only been a few hours since he sold his captain, but Jewelry Bonney had completely disappeared, gone without a trace. The "Massacre Soldier" feared that she had escaped to the New World already, and traveling there without Kid, no matter what body he may be in, was out of the question.

Therefore, the excess stress was causing Killer to act as a PMSing woman would, and the rest of the crew was not yet used to it. Well, they weren't used to it because the blonde was doing a damn good job of hiding his new, hopefully temporary, personality trait, and occupied himself by creating capture, tailing, and attack strategies. When he eventually left his room at least a week later, all hell broke loose, but since we're not that far into this story, we'll just leave Killer alone for now. Unlike his foolish crewmates, who came by his dead bolted every 20 minutes to see if something was wrong…

* * *

><p>Kid thought that baby-clothing stores were just aisles and aisles of regular clothing, only shrunk down to infant size. Boy, was he <em>wrong!<em> Upon entering the fairly small facility, Kid sweatdropped at the sight of cute animal-, baby supplies-, and flower-prints on everything; only stuff for toddlers looked remotely normal. Large, lavender signs hung from the ceiling over different areas, and had the age groups on them in white. Law instantly gravitated to the "Eight Months—One Year" group of tables and racks, striking fear deep into Kid's soul.

"These ought to work," the doctor stated as he stepped over to a counter covered in folded sleepers. He put the redhead down on a clear spot and sifted through a pile of plain blue ones, not interested in any of them. After several boring, silent minutes, Kid laid down and flipped over, belly crawling through a canyon of soft, colorful fabric until he stumbled across something of interest.

"Oi, Fawga, wha bou' dis?" _(Oi, Trafalgar, what about this?)_ He asked, holding up a simple, grey sleeper with no feet or hood. Translation: not super embarrassing! Law shrugged and was answer, when a woman with hair colored similarly to the outfit in Kid's hands came up to them. She seemed kind; the kind of older lady who could walk up to anyone, give him or her a hug and be called "Granma," and it would feel right. Which was good, given what she was going to do in a matter of moments.

"Need some help shopping for your little one, Sweetheart?" She approached him in a calm manner, not raising any alarms. The nametag on her pink shirt said _Ruth_ in curly letters, which the doctor read in a flash.

"Actually, yes. I'm looking for something that will fit him, but have no idea on what will look good on him. Will you give me a hand?" Law sounded like a confused father- _NO! Older brother! _(A/N: Jeez, Kid! Sorry if that grossed you out, but it's what he sounded like!) Ruth answered with a nod and a warm smile, and scooped Kid off the table, much to his surprise.

"Hmm…" she held him out in front, hands under his armpits. The redhead squirmed, but her grip was too strong, unwavering but not painfully tight. "He's fussy, for one, so something with a zipper in the back… Go for lighter colors, blues, greens, maybe even pink. We have plenty of baby pants and shirts; socks and booties are necessities. Try this," Ruth had Kid in one arm as she pulled a baby blue one from a nearby pile. It had a panda theme; paw designs on the feet and mittens, a white belly, and a zipper in the back, making it a virtual straight jacket.

"Perfect," Law took both the pajamas and baby in his arms, smiling at the future humiliation he was about to bring upon his rival. She also gave him a dark pink one with a matching hat, and a plain, cream-colored one. All of them had the grip feet, in case Kid wanted to walk—or at least try. "Where are the day clothes?"

"Right this way, Sweetheart," Ruth lead him to another section of the age group. Infant-sized sweaters and coats lined small racks; cotton pants and T-shirts came in premade outfits. Kid wondered how Law was going to carry it all, then noticed that Bepo and Penguin had stayed outside the store. Just imagining how awkward it must've been for the Heart Pirate crew to shop for baby supplies made the redhead laugh aloud. It came out as an adorable baby giggle, and both Law and Ruth found it irresistible. "Quite a happy baby… He's not yours."

It wasn't a question.

"You're right, he's not mine. I'm taking care of him while his parents are away, and he needs new clothes." Ruth seemed to buy it, and was delighted to share every bit of advice she had on children, all while picking out garments for Kid. Half an hour later, Law had spent a good chunk o' change on (this is the exact list, people!) two pairs of booties, twelve pairs of socks, five pairs of pants, ten shirts, long and short sleeved, three sleepers, a hat (separate), and a pullover coat. Not to mention the extra "goodies" the doctor had bought while Kid wasn't looking.

"Captain!" Bepo was shocked to see the sheer amount of bags Law was attempting to carry in one arm. Before you could say "Shopaholic," the jumpsuit-clad crewmates were lugging sacks of Kid's new clothing, and they were strolling down the grassy street at a steady pace. However, the tourists and locals alike took an interest in the baby redhead, either double taking or pointing as subtly as they cared. In one instance, a pack of teenage girls with their boyfriends stopped dead in their tracks, eyes turned to hearts, cooing and mewling at the sight of Law with Kid clinging to his chest. Normally, Kid would've ignored the overly maternal group of females, maybe shot a death glare, but it wasn't a frequent occurrence.

Law stopping to grin at the skimpily dressed teenagers and giving a small wave didn't help, nor did the former's hands' pressed against Kid's ass and back. When the howls and cries of "HE'S SO FREAKING HAWT!" and "TOO DAMN CUTE!" increased in volume, the redhead attempted an extremely defiant stare. It made them shriek even louder, if that was possible, so Kid was left with only one option—blushing like a virgin and hiding his face in Law's hoodie.

Only the super jealous boyfriends stood between Kid and his immanent abduction.

"Cam we _pwease_ ge' ou' of hewe? 'Ow?" _(Can we _please _get out of here? Now?)_ He muttered, sarcasm surprisingly mild. The doctor sighed, gave a weak salute to his fangirls, causing them to fight against their men even harder, much to the males' disdain, and started walking again. This time, he sped up when people began to lean over and whisper, but only enough to start ringing their "Fuck, He's On To Us" bells. Kid thought that the nonchalant faces they tried to pull out of their asses were rather humorous, making him giggle from time to time.

"We're nearing the ship. We'll be there in less than three minutes, Eustass-ya," Law informed the perpetually bored captain-turned-baby. A dramatic sigh was the only answer he got, really nothing less than what he expected. Three minutes passed by like three minutes would in any situation, and the sub was nestled in a small cove when it came into sight. The Surgeon of Death suddenly busted into a full-throttle sprint, then leapt into the air.

"WHAAAA~!" Kid cried out in fear as they arced onto the deck, Law's heels clacking as he landed rather gracefully. Smirking, the tattooed male lifted the shaking redhead up, _his_ eyes wide with fright.

"I hope I didn't scare you, Eustass-ya. The last thing we need is for you to go into cardiac arrest on your first day with us." Law mocked him as a few members of the crew came out to see the source of the horrible noise. "Was it really that terrifying?"

"Shadap! If feews weiwd fwom dis angwe, das aw!" _(Shut-up! It feels weird from this angle, that's all!) _Kid angrily squealed. At that moment, Penguin and Bepo materialized behind them, panting slightly from the unexpected burst of energy. Shachi was in the small welcome group and instantly gravitated to his long-time partner in perversion and friend, Penguin. He gasped aloud when he was informed of the day's earlier occurrences.

"I'm so jealous," he whispered as Law strode inside. "That Eustass fellow is a babe magnet… Well, Sencho is by himself, but not like that." Too bad their beloved captain was straight as a circle and Kid's reverted infancy was, hopefully, not permanent. Honestly, they all had a feeling, but didn't give a shit; aside from Bepo, who just believed that Law still thought girls were icky. Yeah, the bear was a little slow when it came to the concepts of "puberty" and "hormonal changes." Or how Law lacked them.

Eh, it was for the best he didn't know. For the time being.

The Heart captain was pleased to see that his subordinates had followed the list he'd made exactly. In the kitchen, a simple, plastic highchair had been assembled, and a large wire basket had been filled with baby bottles, spoons, plates, etc., sat on the table. Canisters of powdered formula and foods safe for infants, as well as soon-to-be-mashed produce, were spread across a kitchen counter, making Kid hungry again.

"Excellent. We should have enough food for the next week and a half," Law pointed out as they glided into the entertainment room. A large screen covered one wall while beanbag chairs, recliners, and cushions of all kinds covered the floor. It was fairly dark, but Kid could just make out what looked like a rising stage. He wondered what it was for, and came up with a few dirty fantasies, but they sped out of the room before he saw anything else.

"Whaevew hap'ims, Fawga, I wefuse oo shawe a bed wif yoo. I dum cawe if yoo wam oo, I wiw absowu'wee ma!" _(Whatever happens, Trafalgar, I refuse to share a bed with you. I don't care if you want to, I will absolutely not!) _The redhead ordered as they approached their divided quarters. Law was a little depressed by the statement, but answered in his expected tone.

"No need to worry, Eustass-ya. I had my crew purchase you a bed of your own." The way he said it made Kid feel like a spoiled brat. Upon entry, Penguin and Bepo deposited their luggage next to Law's bed and dashed out as quickly as they could, knowing they would only make it awkward if they stayed. Which was a smart move, considering what was waiting for them in the Surgeon of Death's bedroom.

A changing table resided beneath a window, fully stocked with diapers, wipes, blankets—you know what? FORGET THE LIST. You people should know what goes on a baby changer! Anyway, along with the table, what can only be described as "an undersized crib" was set up on legs and secured just feet away from Law's bed. There was plenty of room for Kid while still being compact enough for the room, and was already padded comfortably. Inside were the redhead's goggles, a stuffed bear, and a few small toys.

"They followed my instructions perfectly," the grey-eyed man observed as he placed Kid inside his new bed. He then dumped most of the clothing bags onto his own bed and folded the miniature garments into neat, little shapes.

"Wha da fuch is da'?" _(What the fuck is that?) _The hotheaded baby shrieked and pointed at something on the bottom shelf of the changer. Law, who was putting the clothes away in an unused drawer, walked over and pulled the item out.

"It's a sling," he stated as he stretched it out to its full size. The fact that Law had the nerve to get such a ridiculous device annoyed Kid to no end, but the baby-rattle pattern on it was the icing on the embarrassment cake. The doctor put it back and returned to the task at hand, easily tuning Kid's infuriated rant about honor and deception out. Soon, a very pissed Eustass Kid settled down and began to suck on his fingers.

"Why am I do'ig dis?" _(Why am I doing this?) _He inquired as Law cut the tag off of the beige sleeper.

"You're probably hungry. That, and you will have strong infantile urges—wanting to be cuddled, becoming irritated when you're tired—stuff that all babies do."

"How do yoo 'ow da fow shuwe?" Kid was suddenly skeptical, giving the doctor a narrow-eyed stare.

"I've seen Bonney's handiwork before; Marines turned to toddlers, simultaneously snotting themselves and screaming curses. In fact, your willpower and pride are the only things keeping you from crying at me for food," Law elaborated as he lifted Kid from his crib. He didn't struggle until he saw what the Surgeon of Death had planned for him: the tan pajamas.

"Wai'! Wha bou' dose panss yoo bough? Is onwy, wike, fow o'cwock!" _(Wait! What about those pants you bought? It's only, like four o'clock!) _Kid kicked and writhed as soon as he was laid down on the changing mat, not going down without a fight. His battle was short-lived, since Law overpowered him with just one hand and soon wrestled him into the least humiliating sleepwear. At first, the enraged redhead tried to undo the zipper, but it was too small and went too high up the nape of his neck for him to grasp it.

He settled for scowling and crossing his arms.

"Is it so bad that you've resorted to pouting, Eustass-ya?" the North Blue native chided playfully.

"I'm aw'te pou'ig! Shadap!" _(I'm not pouting! Shut-up!) _Law chuckled and scooped Kid up into his arm, grinning like an idiot, in Kid's humble opinion. As they exited the bedroom and travelled to the kitchen/dinning room, the chibi captain continued to bitch about everything going on at that moment. It was really quite funny to hear him complain with his severe lisping. He shut up as soon as Law strapped him into his chair, but not without even more complaining.

"In the mood for anything particular, Eustass-ya?" the capped man inquired as he carried the basket of supplies into the kitchen.

"Sumfig wif mowe fwavow da' eawiew. I'w tach amyfig da' ace good." _(Something with more flavor than earlier. I'll take anything that tastes good.) _Kid concluded while Law prepared formula. He instructed his cook to make one meal now, and puree a quarter of the fruit for later use; he himself would handle any meats or dairy. While the doctor made Kid's liquid lunch, the redhead chose to occupy himself by studying the highchair he resided in. It was simple, white plastic with a rather comfy seat cushion, a large, removable tray, a footrest, and a seatbelt.

_Not really different from that cage Trafalgar calls a bed… Oh, whatever entity I have offended to deserve this, _fuck you. _Not a single being in this world is fit for such an unjust punishment! _Was Kid exaggerating? Duh. Yes, the bars on his crib were very close together, but the sides were low enough to allow Law to pick Kid up without moving them. Then again, he hadn't been given the chance to fully test his legs; crawling had mostly been the work of his forearms and hips.

"Mealtime." Kid was pulled out of his self-pity by his temporary daddy—_SICK BITCH!_—plopping a plastic kiddy plate of food on the tray in front of him. On it were two types of mash and plain rice, and in the cup holder, a bottle of formula. He was about to start eating when that asshole Law grabbed the spoon, YET AFRIGGINGAIN. "Here." It materialized right in front of his mouth and entered when he attempted a protest. With no other option, he swallowed.

Turned out, that burnt-orange, runny paste wasn't half bad… It _was_ sweet potatoes, after all.

"Dam yoo!" the redhead squeaked after two more mouthfuls. Law shrugged, face in hand, legs crossed, and acting as though it was an all-around normal occurrence. He knew Kid was willing to eat, but his pride forbade him from being spoon fed unless it was forced.

Was it wrong that Law enjoyed it? Fuck, he was cuter than anything the dark-haired Supernova had seen since Bepo was a cub! (A/N: Imagine this situation as best you can and try not to squeal!) By the time the plate was finished, Law had eased up and was substantially gentler with the utensil, but it was time for the bottle.

"I cam feed mah sewf." _(I can feed myself.) _Kid declared when the doctor approached him with the baby formula. Law decided to humor him, helping him by holding the bottom of it. However, the bottle was full, and Kid lacked the finger strength, ultimately leading it to slip from his grasp. Law sighed and put the clear, plastic tube on the metal table, quickly undoing the straps on Kid's chest and hoisting him into a reclined position in his arm and lap.

"Don't fret, Eustass-ya. Most infants can't hold dense or heavy objects until they're toddlers. You're only nine months," the Heart captain explained as he slipped the rubber nipple between Kid's lips. The redhead begged to differ, forcing the artificial teat out of his mouth and trying to speak.

"I'm aw'te weach, amd yoo sai' I was 'em momfs! Ge' yow fuch'ig sowwy swaigh!" _(I'm not weak, and you said I was ten months! Get your fucking story straight!) _Kid, erm, 'barked' before he pulled the bottle back to his face.

"My apologies, Eustass-ya. My initial calculation may have been off, because you are rather small." Kid rolled his eyes and continued to drink until he was totally full, sucking it down in record time. Just like with the mush, the creamy-white solution was tasty, but had the annoying side effect of making him drowsy, and his stomach was bothering him. "Is something wrong? You appear to be in pain, Eustass-ya." It must've shown on his face.

"Mah somach feews weiwd." _(My stomach feels weird.) _Kid pressed his belly for emphasis; it felt like it was in knots.

"You ate too fast and you need to release gas. No muscle control, remember?" Law carefully laid Kid on his shoulder, supporting him with one hand. "Please refrain from vomiting on me, just this once." He lightly thumped the chibi psychopath's upper back, making him burp and feel much better.

"Fanchs, Waw," Kid mumbled and fell asleep, unconcerned by Law's sudden movement.

_He called me by my first name. And he appreciated my help…_ The usually lax Surgeon of Death was uptight and blushing harder than Kid's hair. Even though it was a lisp and probably a fluke, it still meant something to Law. Never before had Kid said his name in such a manner—not sarcastic or taunting, but happy. Before he could do something stupid, Law carried the little one back to bed, worried over another matter altogether.

_What's going to come over the next few days? Do we really know anything for sure?_

**Wow, that is the longest I've ever dragged one day's worth of time out. Three frickin' chapters! Yes, more women and such, but it makes the most sense to me. I've got lots of great ideas for this fic that will be used, and I always want to know what you think. Yes, I had Kid read this chapter and he was yelling at me for using all the parental references. He knows what's to come...**

** "Pwease weview so dis cwazee bich dosem do amyfing supid wa'er!" _(Please review so this crazy bitch doesn't do anything stupid later!) _Kid pleaded with the readers. **


	5. Polar Opposites

**Itsy-Bitsy-Kidsy**

**WARNING! Chapter contains: Angst, tears, OOCness. No crack, to the better of my knowledge. DISCLAIMER! I don't own One Piece. I'm doing this for giggles and shits.**

**Okay, this chapter is shorter than normal, but there's a bonus at the end! Special thanks go out to _Vanillaworld, Vampire Revan, Kurayami Angel, Yuri17, _and _CursedxBlade _for reviewing chapter four! Onward, to victory and pudding! (something I always say to my friends) **

When Kid awoke the next morning, having slept for an incredibly long time, he noticed three things in this order: he was hungry, in a cage, and there was something around his legs was making him very uncomfortable. Unfortunately, he remembered that his "cage" was actually a crib in Trafalgar Law's bedroom, and he was a baby, courtesy of Jewelry Bonney. He sighed dramatically and gripped the white, wooden bars closest to him, and forced himself to his knees, then feet. He peered over the top, wobbling slightly, and caught his fellow Supernova zipping his fly as he exited the bathroom.

"You're awake already, Eustass-ya. Sleep well?" Law questioned as he strode over to gather the redhead in his arms. Kid yawned and nodded in response, still rather groggy from his super long nap. He shot fully awake when he was laid across the changing table and had his sleeper removed. Law grimaced at the smell he received.

"Oi! Wha do yoo finch yow do'ig?" _(Oi! What do you think you're doing?)_ Kid squawked as the doctor began to peel away the stick straps on his diaper. Law said nothing and continued to remove the paper underwear, wipes and a fresh one coming out of thin air. Kid blushed furiously at the humiliation of being cleaned by his rival, and covered his eyes with his hands until he was covered again. He didn't notice Law slipping away to wash his hands because he was too busy calculating if a fall from the height he was at would kill him.

"It wasn't that bad, now was it?" the North Blue captain teased as he dried his hands off. "At least you're clean for the time being."

"SHADAP! YOO DIE WHE' DIS IS AWE OVA!" _(SHUT-UP! YOU DIE WHEN THIS IS ALL OVER!) _The redhead screamed in frustration. He couldn't bring himself to look at Law, fearing he would never be taken seriously ever again. Well, that and he always wondered if Law was gay or not. Since the moment he was flipped off by the bastard, it had been on his mind, and the recent events had him thinking if the asshole had a thing for him. Kid was so deep in thought that he jumped when the furry-topped man grabbed him.

"Hold still so I can get this on you," Law ordered as he pulled out a small blue shirt. It had a snap on the back of the neck to make it easier to put on squirmy children, not that it was required. Kid had to lie on his back while a pair of grey baby sweatpants were tugged on to his legs, followed by socks and no-slip booties. It wasn't as bad as his pajamas, but still made him feel ridiculous. Law snatched a towel-like, small blanket from the lower shelf and scooped Kid up, both ready for a good breakfast.

_It's seven thirty. I expected Trafalgar to be the nocturnal type, given those rings around his eyes. _The chibi pirate thought when he saw the alarm clock on the nightstand, just before they left the room. The ironic thing was, Law was more of a "Type A" kind of guy, despite his lax and rather rude personality. He was almost always up at a certain time and made his bed each day, and this all tied in to his old home life.

Well, certain mannerisms aside, the Heart captain had a good feeling that Kid being around wouldn't change his day-to-day life by a noticeable amount. Also, that the redhead had the ability to resist acting like a baby altogether.

Man, was he _wrong!_ Almost immediately after eating, which consisted of fruit mash, cereal, and formula, Kid was whining and fussing like any other baby. Law resorted to the trump card of every babysitter and parent out there—a pacifier. Which worked quite well, actually.

"That's better," he sighed as Kid sucked and chewed on it as he rolled around on Law's bed. It was a slightly lighter shade of reddish-black than his lipstick, appropriately enough, and while it did calm him down, the South Blue captain had his usual scowl-like smirk. Nothing in the world would change that. Suddenly, Law realized that Kid was going require stimulation and entertainment because he had his adult mental capacity. "Eustass-ya, can you still use your Devil Fruit ability?"

"M'mn," he sat up and shrugged, spitting his sucky out. "Gah amee me'al?" _([?] Got any metal?) _Law reached over to his nightstand and removed a chain with several dog tags.

"Try this." He held it out at an arm's length. Kid pointed his own hand at it, focused as hard as he could, and squeaked, "Wepew!" Small, violet sparks of electricity crackled around his hand and the necklace went flying. It smacked into Law's dresser and made a tiny dent, but Kid lost control over it and was exhausted by the attempt. He flopped backwards onto the bed and resumed mouthing on his mute button.

"Wha is da, amyway?" the redhead asked after a moment of silence, pointing at Law's chain. The tattooed Supernova was mildly surprised by Kid's interest, and responded by flinging it next to him. Kid flipped over and held it, reading the inscription on each of the four metal plates. "Who'we Wuma, Windsee, Wiwee, am' Wexis?"

"That's _Luna, Lindsey, Lily, _and _Lexis._ They're my older sisters from the North Blue. They gave me those when I left to become a pirate." Law explained as he reclined on the bed next to Kid, who held up a hand for the universal sign for 'Go on, I'm listening.' Law sighed, and continued. "Well, Lindsey was the oldest, followed by Luna, then Lexis, then Lily. I was the only son in our family and the last to be born."

"So, why did dey give yoo dees? 'Ewe meh mowe," _(So, why did they give you these? Tell me more)_ The redhead held the dog tags out, each having a sisters' name and what appeared to be some kind of motivational quote. Kid's favorite was the one that said, "Become the Pirate King, or I will kick your sorry ass."

"I'll continue if you don't interrupt. Now, they each gave me one of these tags so I won't forget their support, and the first things they said to me when they accepted the concept of me being a pirate. I see that you like Lexis' one the most, given what she said; she _was_ the first to go with the idea…" Law seemed to zone out with nostalgia, giving Kid time to review what the other plates had stamped in them.

"Just don't get killed, or worse," Lindsey. "Bepo better be the first mate," Lily. "I'll design your Jolly Roger, if you want," Luna.

"Wha may yoo wam' oo be a pi'wa', amyway?" _(Why did you want to be a pirate, anyway?)_ The question returned Law to consciousness, and he answered it.

"Up until a year before I left, I had no idea that my parents had been small-time pirates in the North Blue. They quit when Lindsey was about to be born, and settled down to raise a family, using the money they had and my mother's medical skills as funds. In case you're wondering, their names were Trafalgar Dean and Jade…" Law continued to rant about the family he left behind and how his mother taught him everything, blah, blah, blah. After a few minutes, Kid realized that Law was the baby of the family, making him used to getting his own way and not being defied.

"How owde wewe dey whe' yoo wewe bowm?" _(How old were they when you were born?) _The redheaded baby meant his sisters; the 'rents weren't his business.

"Lindsey was fifteen, Luna was twelve, Lexis was eight, and Lily was five. Mom thought waiting an extra two years for me would break the pattern of female children. She also had a thing the letter "L." The dark-haired captain chuckled at the memory of his superstitious mother, and her ability to still practice medicine like it meant her life. "So, what's your story?"

"Huh?" Kid hadn't expected that.

"I told you mine, you tell me yours." Simple enough, but Kid didn't feel like sharing. On top of that, the author _really_ didn't want to write and entire flashback-scenario type thingy in Kid's specific lisp. Therefore, the entire conversation will be translated directly.

"_Fine_," he sighed. "_It's not a real happy story… My father was a good-for-nothing drunk and my mother was a doormat. He emotionally and physically abused me, and then left us when I was eight. I filled the void he made by being the man of the house for roughly ten years of my life, and by that, I mean I allowed my mother to dump all of her troubles on me. I was a punk, but too many people pitied us to do anything about it_." The temperature of the room dropped slightly, and the anger on Kid's face was visible, unfitting for what age he had been turned into.

"What made you want to be a pirate?" Law asked, because 'What made you want to become the Pirate King?' or 'Why do want to go after One Piece?' was a little touchy for the two rookies.

"_My shitcake of a father always said I would amount to nothing. Everyone did, even my mom, deep down, but she refused to side with the bastard she'd married or believe that I would turn out like him. She was the only one in my town who didn't laugh at me when I told her my dream… Just so you know, I'm an only child. Her name was Eustass Doll._"

"What do mean 'was?'"

"_Yer full of damn questions. If you've gotta know, she died a month before I got the fuck out of there, of some blood disease._" The Kid's expression was that of forlorn bitterness, making it obvious that he hadn't spoken of the matter to anyone for a while, if ever. Law was taken aback when his lip began to quiver, a guaranteed warning sign for tears, and pulled him into his arms.

"It's okay, Kid. I won't tell anyone." The grey-eyed captain whispered as he cradled the redhead.

"I cam'h. I'm aw'te weach." _(I can't. I'm not weak.) _Kid's voice shook terribly. He was screaming at himself not to let it out. He hadn't even had second thoughts when he was sure he was about to die, just a day ago, but…he somehow knew help would come.

"It doesn't mean you're weak. It means you're human." Those were all the words Kid needed. He let all his sadness out onto Law's freaky yellow hoodie for a solid ten minutes, mumbling incoherent words every few moments. He cried himself to sleep and Law tucked him in, leaving him to his thoughts.

_I never imagined him to have so much baggage. He probably just deals with it in his own way, and turning into an infant emotionally weakened him. Damn. _How the hell did Trafalgar Law fall for a traumatized, psychopathic superginger? They were such different people, they only had three things in common: (1) they wanted to make it to Raftel, (2) they were captains of separate crews, and (3) they were a part of the Eleven Supernovas.

In conclusion—his chances were that of a snowball in hell.

Well, opposites attract, right? Riiiiiight… (A/N: Just keep tellin' yourself that, Law.) The Heart captain pulled a barstool from his lounge area up next to the crib and sat there, staring out the window that resided just above Kid's bed. Before he sat down, he took off his favorite sweatshirt, due to the amount of dried snot on it, and stayed in his T-shirt. No designs, just plain white (OMFG). The redhead slept peacefully, dried tears staining his silky cheeks in perfectly straight lines, reminding Law of when Lindsey broke down in front of him at the tender age of three. He had panicked for a moment, but hugged her as tightly as he could and didn't let go until she calmed down.

_Did anyone ever do that for Kid when he was upset? Fuck, when I think about it, shit could've happened to him when he was this age… _If anything, Eustass "Captain" Kid needed love, and lots of it. Which was alright, because the "Surgeon of Death" could be surprisingly gentle at times. Kid was a stray dog, beaten and angry, taking it out on the weaker animals when they tested him. Law was the naïve toddler who thought all puppies were sweet, risking and firm scolding, and maybe bite, to pet the frightened mutt.

At that moment, he decided that he would risk everything to show Kid some love, in any way or any amount. The mask he had made for himself out of insane, uncaring bloodlust and rage would be broken, one way or another.

"Good God… What the hell am I saying?" Law paused and peered into the crib, spying Kid cuddling his goggles to his chest. "I guess I really do love him…"

It was the morning of the second day. He knew turning back on his words would haunt him, and that the journey would be rough.

Good thing he had a history of being patient.

**I gave Law four older sisters and a not-so-tragic past. I just thought it would fit him better. Here's the bonus stuff-the sister's profiles! Just a sneak peak, actually, because I'm going to use these pasts in another KidxLaw fic I'll write when this is done. Here they are!**

**Trafalgar Lindsey: Typical oldest sibling, working her ass off to help her parents. Extremely concerned for Law and super protective of everyone.  
><span>Trafalgar Luna<span>: A girly-girl, not all that bright. Played with Law when he was little, usually dress up or house.  
><strong>**Trafalgar Lexis: Tomboy, Law's favorite sister. Kind of twisted from being the middle child most of her life.  
><span>Trafalgar Lily<span>: Baby girl of the family, always a little immature and a tad jealous of Law. Helped him raise Bepo. **

**Okay, that's over! To be honest, I based Kid's past off of someone who is very close to me. He's still working it all out. To lighten the mood,_ KARAOKE IN FUTURE CHAPTERS! I NEED SONG SUGGESTIONS! _**

**Pwease weview~! **


	6. Take You To A

**Itsy-Bitsy-Kidsy**

**WARNING! Chapter contains: Bad singing, possible drunken OOCness, a sick Killer, and some naughty music. DISCLAIMER! I don't own One Piece or the songs you're about to see. **

**I am soooooooo sorry for the late update. School's started and my dad just had surgery, so I don't know when the next chapter will be posted. Anywho, thank you _Lindsey, Kurayami Angel, Vanillaworld, _and_ Vampire Revan _for reviewing.**

It had been over a week since Kid's meltdown and Law's promise; only days after Killer's mega flip out. Hmm, while we're on the subject of the Kid Pirates first mate, how 'bout a glimpse at what went down? Yes? Wonderful, here it is!

"Killer-san, are you okay? You haven't left your quarters in days," Bat-chan stated as he rapped on the door. A noise that sounded like a cross between an exhausted moan and a cat being slowly stepped on rippled through the hardwood, followed by a slow, loud thumping. Killer answered the door, mask off, wild blond bangs covering half his face, but a long scar that started at his chin and traveled upwards to his hairline was partially visible. He looked like crap, and scared it out of his nakama.

"What do you want?" he growled, emanating irritation and fatigue. The mesh wearing man stumbled backwards at the awful smell that wafted toward him, coming off Killer at an equally strong level as the negativity. Only once before had something like this happened, but not at such a great magnitude, and almost no one remembered it. "I'm busy."

"We're worried about your state of health. You've been holed up in there since Captain left-"

"I know, damnit! If you want me to leave the room, just say so! I don't need to be reminded of everything that's going on at every moment of the day!" Killer was fuming—waving his arms upward and ranting like a (you guessed it) teenage girl. Soon, Bat-chan, despite his elevated height, was cowering before his enraged crewmate, and it only went for bed to worse when Killer dashed back inside. He emerged with his scythes spinning in a blur, still perpetually bitching. "Get off my fucking back!"

"NYAAAAAAA!" Bat had just enough time to duck, but lost the tops of his antenna in the process. Leaping away as far as he could go and with Killer in hot pursuit, a mad chase ensued as the first mate went on a sleep-deprived rampage. The remaining crew was easily alerted and rushed out on to the deck, only to be greeted by the temporarily psychopathic blonde trying to murder them and Bat-chan trying to distract him.

"Killer! Get a grip!" Eddie barked at the no-longer-masked man and pulled put his twin blades, prepared to use lethal force. Most of the men brandished rifles or broadswords, but backed off when Eddie motioned for them to defend themselves and Killer sliced the end of Bat-chan's trident off. Fortunately, they were a part of the fraction of people who remembered how to subdue the first mate without getting maimed, and set their plan in motion. "Oi, Bat, what's got Killer so upset?"

"I think Captain's absence must have something to do with it!" That was all he needed to know.

"Killer. Calm down." Eddie's voice was back to normal, even though he was usually silent. The important thing was, he got Killer's attention.

"What the fuck do you want?" the 'Massacre Soldier' was utterly hysterical. He charged the blue-haired man and tried to cut his shoulders, but Eddie caught them with his own blades. Killer was locked in place, vulnerable from his tunnel vision, _and_ he was too tired to keep his assault strong. Plus, he was totally oblivious to Bat-chan taking a moment to tinker with his weapon, and then shove the center prong into his upper thigh. The blond collapsed to the deck in a heap, unconscious.

"How much did you give him?" As it turned out, the cape-clad crewman's trident held substances in each tip of his weapon: poison, tranquilizers, and usually, another chemical that he rarely used. Never even told anyone what it was. But the point is, he drugged Killer.

"A bit less than last time. Captain had to hold him down as hard as he could before, but it felt like he was giving it his all just to chase me down. Something's definitely wrong." Bat-chan replied as he knelt down next to the panting nutcase and flipped him on to his back. Eddie summoned the ship's doctor from the small crowd of nakama to see what was up with Killer. He gave the diagnosis of a high fever, most likely from his increased stress and lack of sleep. He hadn't been eating well either.

After carefully removing his scythes, Killer was carried back to his room by Bat-chan, where he was tied down to his bed and treated. He slept through the night and most of the next day, while Eddie found a lead to Jewelry Bonney. It was a slim chance, but they had to try.

* * *

><p>At the Heart Pirates' ship, everyone had fallen into a steady routine over the week; the only thing that varied was what Kid did to entertain himself. From training his severely weakened powers with a few members of the crew to checking out a few books Law had on basic surgical procedures, he was almost never bored. Speaking of Law, he carried the badmouthed chigger (a type of small red bug) every-freaking-where! Kid had only crawled a few times, and once, just once, was he ever held by another crewmate, and that was Bepo. Was only for a few seconds at that…<p>

Kid was quickly removed from his train of though by Law picking him up off the shag carpet he had been reading on and carting him off to bed. That did not go over well.

"Wha awe yoo do'ig? Is owy eigh!" _(What are you doing? It's only eight!) _The South Blue captain protested, to no avail. He was stuffed inside those ridiculous panda-themed pajamas and tucked into bed; Law bade him goodnight and clicked the lights off, closing the door silently. Kid slowly felt himself become unbearable tired, and drifted off into sleep, surrounded by plush warmth. He hadn't noticed it, but he was still sucking on his pacifier as he nodded off.

But for the strangest reason, he dreamt of some invisible female cackling in glee as he struggled to crawl through fire. He didn't know why, but he had an overwhelming vibe that a person he cared deeply about was in distress, and just ahead of him. Later, the ground began to shake in a heavy, low rhythm, and awoke to his entire crib shaking.

"Wha da hew is go'ig om?" _(What the hell is going on?)_ Kid squawked as he heard the wooden bars rattle slightly. A steady thrumming and faint music assaulted the redhead, who was both fascinated and confused at the same time. Knowing that sleep would be utterly impossible with such racket, and being foolishly curious, Kid decided to investigate.

Just one problem.

"Ow, how do I ge' ou a hewe?" _(How do I get out of here?) _The chibi-captain mumbled around his sucky as he sat with his legs crossed and hand pressed to chin, devising an escape plan. Only took him five minutes—a new record! As it turned out, the bars were to close together to squeeze your head through, but there were miniscule latches in the very top corners that released the whole front side. Kid had to stand up to flick the handle out of the way, and smugly patted himself on the back as the wall of wood slid downwards. Unfortunately, it only made it a little over half way, but it was just enough.

"Hewe we go…" the redhead emptied his bed of everything shock absorbent, aside from the mattress. He then vaulted over the barricade, landing with a soft thud. Since the teddy bear had broken his fall the best, Kid chose to bring it along, just in case. Luckily for him, there were snaps on the paws, and he clicked it around his neck; the first part of his journey was almost complete. All he had to do was get to the door and find the source if the awful sound, which was way easier said than done. Kid started to crawl, the thick carpet making him wobble in his mittens, but he reached the door without a problem.

His next obstacle: opening the damn door.

Kid stared up at the handle with menace; calculating if using his powers would be a good idea. He'd gotten better over the week, but was afraid that he would conk out if he tried. Bracing himself, the ginger aimed his Devil Fruit ability at the metal knob, and forced it to turn, sweat starting to break out already. A click, and he tuned it to pull towards him. When the door was just barely out of its frame, he released his magnetic grip and flopped forward, drained.

_Can't give up now! _The pep talk seemed to have worked wonders, as Kid was pinching the edge of the steel door, pulling it ever so far enough for him to slither out. The hallway was slightly brighter than the bedroom, but not painfully so. If memory served the South Blue captain, the room full of cushions and chairs was in the same direction as the noise, which made plenty sense. With his destination in mind, Kid set off, following the light and clamor. The journey seemed to take forever, compared to when Law carried him, but sooner than expected, the deep echo became clearer.

Somebody was singing—and very poorly.

Upon his arrival at the entertainment room, Kid was exhausted, pissed, and ready to get back at Law, but every though vacated his head in mere seconds. The room was still rather dark, but the stage at the end of the room had been raised, and had equipment all over it. Karaoke equipment.

_What the fuck… _Folding card tables had been set up in random spots, most covered in liquor bottles and bar food, but some were being used for their original purpose. Poker was being played by boiler-suited men in beanbag chairs, 90% of which were smashed beyond logic and reason. Check that, those who were singing were at the brink of collapsing from alchohol; the players were far more sober. Because there were just lamps on the tables and a few pointed at the stage, Kid could hardly make out who was who.

The "music" was horribly loud, forcing the redhead to navigate his way over the filthy floor to escape it. He bumped into everything at least once, but generally managed to not get killed by anything, feet and broken glass included. He finally reached the opposite wall, but was given quite a surprise.

"Captain Kid!" Bepo gasped upon seeing the adorable baby. He scooped Kid up in his gigantic paws before he could protest. "What are you doing here?"

"Yoo woch meh up," _(You woke me up)_ the redhead responded after spitting out his binky, and then involuntarily replaced it.

"Sorry… Captain didn't think it would get too loud…" the polar bear held Kid up high so he could bow his head, effectively freaking him out.

"MMMMMMHHH! PM MM MMM!" he shrieked from behind his pacifier. It only made him go higher as Bepo bowed deeper. Jean Bart, who was sitting in the darkest corner, saw it and took action.

"Bepo, you're scaring him. Stop doing that." He hadn't even bothered to open both eyes, but it worked, though, Bepo handed Kid over to Bart. For the ginger, that was twice as weird. He was HUGE and always so quiet…the two had minimal contact over the week, but as Kid sat in his palm, he realized it was better than the floor. But, it was still awkward and embarrassing for the redhead.

"So, whas go'ig owm?" Kid called over the noise. "Why is Fawga do'ig dis?" _(So, what's going on? Why is Trafalgar doing this?)_

"Captain has a party like this every month. It starts with cards, but everyone gets drunk, so they start singing," Bepo answered as plopped down next to the giant-sized man. "This is Jean Bart's first time, proving that I am superior."

"Figuwes he wud do somfig wike dis. Wha am idio." Kid ridiculed as he relaxed. "Boosh?" _(Figures he would do something like this. What an idiot. Booze?)_

Bepo shook his head. "Captain would skin us all alive if we let you."

"Why wud he do da?" _(Why would he do that?)_ The ginger failed to see the problem of giving a baby alchohol. Jean Bart took the liberty of pointing it, only to be interrupted by a new singer. Or singers. Penguin and Shachi were wasted enough to give it a go, and a very obnoxious tune began to play.

_Hi, Barbie! __Hi, Ken! __You wanna go for a ride?  
><em>_Sure, Ken!Jump in... _

Shachi had taken the male voice, "Ken," whilst Penguin chose the part of "Barbie." Kid was scared to see where it was going as the letters on a visual Den Den Mushi highlighted themselves.

_I'm a Barbie Girl, in the Barbie World  
>Life in plastic, it's fantastic!<br>You can brush my hair, undress me everywhere; imagination, life is your creation!_

_Come on, Barbie, let's go party!_

_I'm a Barbie Girl, in the Barbie World  
>Life in plastic, it's fantastic!<br>You can brush my hair, undress me everywhere; imagination, life is your creation!  
><em>_I'm a blond, bimbo girl in the fantasy world  
>Dress me up, make it tight, I'm your dolly!<em>

_You're my doll, rock 'n 'roll, feel the glamour in pink Kiss me here touch me there, hanky panky…_

_You can touch, you can play  
>If you say, "I'm always yours" (u-oh)<br>I'm a Barbie girl, in the Barbie World  
>Life in plastic, it's fantastic!<br>You can brush my hair, undress me everywhere; imagination, life is your creation!_

_Come on, Barbie, let's go party! (ah-ah-ah-yeah)  
>Come on, Barbie, let's go party! (u-oh, u-oh)<br>Come on, Barbie, let's go party! (ah-ah-ah-yeah)  
>Come on, Barbie, let's go party! (u-oh, u-oh)<em>

_Make me walk, make me talk, do whatever you please  
>I can act like a star, I can beg on my knees…<em>

_Come jump in, bimbo friend  
>Let us do it again<br>Hit the town, fool around Let's go party!_

_You can touch, you can play  
><em>_If you say, "I'm always yours"  
><em>_You can touch, you can play  
><em>_ If you say, "I'm always yours" _

_Come on, Barbie, let's go party! (ah-ah-ah-yeah)  
>Come on, Barbie, let's go party! (u-oh, u-oh)<br>Come on, Barbie, let's go party! (ah-ah-ah-yeah)  
>Come on, Barbie, lets go party! (u-oh, u-oh)<em>

_I'm a Barbie Girl, in the Barbie World  
>Life in plastic, it's fantastic!<br>You can brush my hair, undress me everywhere; imagination, life is your creation!  
>I'm a Barbie Girl, in the Barbie World<br>Life in plastic, it's fantastic!  
>You can brush my hair, undress me everywhere; imagination, life is your creation! <em>

_Come on, Barbie, let's go party! (ah-ah-ah-yeah)  
>Come on, Barbie, let's go party! (u-oh, u-oh)<br>Come on Barbie, let's go party! (ah-ah-ah-yeah)  
>Come on, Barbie, let's go party! (u-oh, u-oh) <em>

_Oh, I'm having so much fun! _

_Well, Barbie, we're just getting started… _

_Oh, I love you, Ken! _

"I thought they were straight," Jean Bart muttered as the friends staggered off the stage, more plastered than plastic. Kid shrugged, unable to take his eyes off the stage.

"I'm jus supwised dey go' ih awe. Day'we eifew gawy, ow nah a dwunch as dey wooch. Maybeh bof." _(I'm just surprised they got it all. They're either gay, or not as drunk as they look. Maybe both.) _The South Blue baby remarked as tipsy applause rang out. He was tired and still upset from all the noise, but Kid wanted to stick around, maybe play some cards or bitch at Law. However, something even more bizarre than Penguin and Shachi rocking out to some annoyingly catchy song about a kid's toy came into his field of vision—a drunken Law. Actually, a _very_ intoxicated, disheveled Law who was grinning like an idiot and on the verge of collapsing, climbing up the platform and grabbing the mic. "Oh, fuch."

"Hehehe," the raven giggled into the Baby Den Den Mushi on a pole. "This one goes out to (hic) Eustass-ya! Wish you were here you stupid, sexy bastard!"

Every drop of blood in Kid's face drained away, only to be replaced by what occupied the rest of his veins. Kid removed the stuffy from his neck and attempted to smother himself with it, having never felt so much embarrassment since his first diaper change. As the song began, a tempo that resembled a nervous heartbeat started, and Law's performance from hell did, too.

_Ha-ha, well now, we call this the act of mating  
>But there are several other very important differences between human beings and animals that you should know about.<em>

The lyrics stopped for a moment, Kid contemplated suicide. Also, how'd that girly-man's voice get so low all of a sudden?

_I'd appreciate your input. _

_Sweat baby, sweat baby  
>Sex is a Texas drought me, and you do the kind of stuff that only Prince would sing about<br>So put your hands down my pants, and I bet you'll feel nuts  
>Yes, I'm Siskel, yes, I'm Ebert, and you're getting two thumbs up<br>You've had enough of two-hand touch  
>You want it rough, you're out of bounds<br>I want you smothered, want you covered like my Waffle House hash browns  
>Comin' quicker than FedEx, never reached an apex<br>Just like Coca-Cola stock, you are inclined to make me rise an hour early just like daylight savings time!_

_DO IT NOW!_

_You an me, baby, ain't nothin' but mammals  
>So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel (do it again now)<br>You and me, baby, ain't nothin' but mammals  
>So let's do it like do on the Discovery Channel (gettin' horny now) <em>

Another acoustic break, Kid was really going to kill himself, the only problem: how?

_Love, the kind you clean up with a mop and bucket  
>Like the lost catacombs of Egypt, only God knows where we stuck it<br>Hieroglyphics?  
>Let me be Pacific, I wanna be down in your south sea<br>But I got this notion that the motion of your ocean means "Small craft advisory"  
>So if I capsize in your thighs<br>High tide, B-5, you sunk my battle ship  
>Please turn me on, I'm Mr. Coffee with an automatic drip<br>So show me yours, I'll show you mine  
>"Tool Time"<br>You'll love it just like Lyle  
>And then we'll do it doggy style so we can both watch X-Files<em>

_DO IT NOW!_

_You and me, baby, ain't nothin' but mammals So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel (do it again now)  
>You and me, baby, ain't nothin' but mammals<br>So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel (gettin' horny now)_

He didn't know or care what a "Discovery Channel" or half the lyrics were, Kid was going to murder Law, then follow him straight to Hell.

_You and me, baby, ain't nothin' but mammals  
>So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel (do it again now)<br>You and me, baby, ain't nothin' but mammals  
>So let's do I like they do on the Discovery Channel<em>

_DO IT NOW!_

_You and me, baby, ain't nothin' but mammals So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel (do it again now)  
>You and me, baby, ain't nothin' but mammals<br>So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel (gettin' horny now) _

The letters stopped abruptly, but the acoustics continued. Law, too stopped suddenly, and collapsed, too friggin' drunk to stand. Wolf whistles and cheers ensued as Bepo weaved his way through the crowd to collect his captain; he returned with the tattooed man slung over a shoulder.

"The party will wind down within the hour. After Captain passes out, they start heading to bed." The polar bear explained as most everyone threw in their cards or polished off their drinks.

"If yow 'ach'ig Fawga, le' meh go wif yoo." _(If you're taking Trafalgar, let me go with you.) _Kid ordered. Bepo saw no harm in putting the baby captain back to sleep, and took him up in his paw. The trip back to the room was silent, because Kid himself was about to conk out.

"Why did'm yoo ge' dwuch?" _(Why didn't you get drunk?) _Kid confronted the sober bear as he repaired him mutilated crib. The redhead was sitting on Law's chest, mildly enjoying the rising motion whenever the sleeping man breathed; Bepo had tucked him in first.

"Alchohol makes me sick." Was the simple answer Kid received as he was laid down inside his cage. "Captain will probably not be in his best shape in the morning, so just call for us if something's up."

And with that, Kid was back to sleep.

**FINALLY! I think I'm allergic to italics...never again will I do that. **

**About Killer getting sick: I was going to have him just be insane, but I'm a twisted pervert, and made him get sick. I know there wasn't much KidxLaw in this, but I wanted to get the singing part done as soon as I could. **

**Please review and check out the poll on my profile! It keeps me from doing crack when you do!**


	7. Whoops!

**Itsy-Bitsy-Kidsy**

**WARNING! Chapter contains: Possible OOCness, barfing, the usual. DISCLAIMER! I don't own One Piece! If I did, there would be more Supernova action and yaoi!**

**Yes, I am here! And, very sorry for the lateness of this chappie! But, I have some things to rant about! If you did not like the Barbie Girl song I used, SUCK IT UP. I did on request, okay? Second, Law is not a Pedo Bear He just got really drunk and forgot he was taking care of Kid. Next, Kid didn't have a drop of liquor. He wanted some, though.**

**Now, UBER MEGA SUPER GRANDE THANKS TO ALL OF MY REVIEWERS! I got more than ever! Here you lovelies are: **_Kurayami Angel**,** **Yuri17**, CursedxBlade, **midsummersunshine**, xXBleach-darksoleXx, **emofreak119**, Snowiki, **KmiKumicu**, Miyu the Fangirl, **trypheria**, Akin D., _**and _18plusForMe. _Also, all the way from deviantART, let's give a warm welcome to **_kikannoh-yo_**, who made an amazing little comic out of the latest chapters! You rock!**

**Now, here's you're reward for being so sweet! **

To say that Kid was a little miffed when he woke up would be a major understatement. It was a neutral grey in the room since the blinds buffered the light, and Kid's limbs ached with last night's over exertion. Plus, Law was still in bed. The redhead was well aware that, if he had a high tolerance for alcohol, the Heart captain was going to have a merciless hangover, and should therefore get plenty of sleep.

This is Eustass "Captain" Kid we're talking about.

After tossing the stuffed bear over the side of his bed, Kid proceeded to jimmy the latch. It was an easy escape compared to the night before, mostly because there was light to go by, and he did it just last night! Though the landing was harder than earlier, Kid remained unfazed and crawled over to Law's bed, determined to make him suffer. That is, if he could get up onto the bed in the first place!

"I finch I meed oo samd fow dis…" Kid had never stood on his own feet since he had become an infant, and was afraid he lacked the balance. "Oo hew wif if!" _(I think I need to stand for this… To hell with it!) _The redhead gripped the comforter as strong as he could, and began to shift his weight from his knees to his feet. It wasn't easy in the slightest, but he somehow got up there.

Now, Kid could've just started crying or thrown a pillow at Law, but he had other ideas. Sitting on him, for example.

"Fawga!" he shrieked, bouncing up and down on the tattooed man's chest. "Wach up, I'm humgwy! Yoo dumbfuch, don't dwimch so much!" _(Trafalgar! Wake up, I'm hungry! You dumbfuck, don't drink so much!)_ The chibi-captain was going to force him to get his lazy-ass up and out of bed if it was the last thing he did.

"Ghrrrr…let me sleep…" Law moaned and rolled over, causing Kid to tumble to the edge of the bed. Undeterred, he crawled back up and managed to tug the heavy blanket off, revealing a pair of pajama shorts with swirly lavender designs on them and a bare back. Not boxers, _girl's shorts_. Ignoring that, the redhead ripped them down to the back of Law's knees, exposing his thighs. And what legs they were…

_Holy fucking hell._ Kid wasn't sure to be revolted by how feminine Law was, or attracted by the near perfection his body was. He chose the latter, and sat there, staring and soaking in the sheer sex appeal for what felt like eons. In reality, it was less than five minutes, and was interrupted by the raven waking up. Kid quickly moved away to the pillows, not wanting to be a potential victim of Law's dreary wrath.

Fortunately, that didn't happen. The tired, disoriented countenance on Law's face, partnered with the faded flushing, the lack of pants, and the cute moan he had uttered, was almost too much for Kid to handle. If he had been in his normal body, he would've been _so_ fucking horny at that moment! Anyway, Law was sitting up on his elbows, head hovering right above the pillow, trying to focus his eyes on the intruder.

"Nnngh… Eustass-ya? How'd you get out of your crib?" the Surgeon of Death had moved onto his knees, slouched over just so, and yawned. As reflex tears gathered at the corners of his dark-ringed eyes, Kid was unable to contain himself. Muscles in Law's chest rippled almost invisibly as the tanned man sat up with his legs crossed, and the redhead felt himself ache with lust.

Trafalgar Law was a sex god. No wonder those bitches were always after him.

"I-I'm humgwy. Feed meh." Kid forced himself to look away and not stare at that perfectly bishounen face. And body. Crap, if the screwed up bastard looked like that all the time, the Marines wouldn't just arrest him, they'd make him their bitch! It was just too much to handle. Even for the author, who was having a spastic seizure at the thought of it all.

"Oh…sorry. Motherfucking hangover…" Law gripped his temples and groaned, flopping onto his back. After a minute of twitches and moans, he got a hold of himself and got off the bed. "Lemme wash my face. It'll only take a sec." Kid nodded dumbly, muted by the raven's body.

_As soon as I'm back to normal, his ass is mine!_ Awfully confident for a one-year-old… Sharp gold orbs followed Law as he partially limped into the bathroom, saliva sliding out of Kid's mouth. _Smoking. Hot. _(A/N: This is too weird, even for me!) After undressing the fully-grown captain through the door with his eyes, the baby was ripped out of his funk by his victim snapping his fingers.

"Helloooo? Eustass-ya? Did you die inside while I was gone?" Law was leaning over Kid, fully covered by an ash-colored bathrobe that went just past his knees.

"Eh? Oh, yeah. Feed me, gawddammi'!" Kid bitched aloud, suddenly pissed at his roomy again for not waking up on time. Law sighed and steeped into some furry slippers, plucking Kid from the tangle of bedclothes he had created.

"Need a changing?" the Surgeon of Death asked before they reached the exit.

Kid looked away, still embarrassed to no end by it all. After a quick silence, he answered. "Yesh." Law chuckled silently, and fixed the redhead up. There were just a few arguments and Kid only tried to leap off the table once, but it went well. Fresh and comfortable, the pair finally set out for breakfast.

They passed through the entertainment room as usual, but it was undergoing a deep cleaning. Two crewmembers were picking up garbage and playing cards, with a third clearing up the bar. Most of the beer and rum was gone, along with obviously cheap wine, but several bottles of clear liquid remained. They were being loaded into a large, wooden chest for safekeeping, kept company by shot glasses and mugs. For a crew so small, they really knew how to get wasted.

"Morning, Captain." Bepo greeted them in a hushed tone as they entered the galley, not wanting to worsen any headaches. Law nodded in response, strapping Kid into his highchair with a barely-visible grimace on his face. He had gone _way_ overboard on the booze last night.

_Guess that's why they call it "retard juice." _ Gazing around, the exhausted captain saw the rest of his conscious crew being tortured by the pain in their bodies. There were only two others, not including Bepo, and the poor cook was about to collapse into the oversized pan of eggs he was making. _I think I have enough stuff for the whole crew…_ Law thought as he shook a bottle of Kid's breakfast like a cocktail. The "stuff" was Law's signature painkiller—a dangerously potent concoction. If he pumped someone up with enough of it, he could kill them; he liked used it as anesthesia for major surgeries.

As the darker-skinned captain slumped down into a seat next to his chibi'd equal, he spooned food into the little's mouth with his eyes comfortably squinted and his face in hand. Because Law's legs were crossed and his robe was so baggy around them, Kid was able to sneak a peak at the front of his thighs. They were almost totally smooth, not from being shaved or waxed, but because Law just wasn't naturally hairy. The redhead added that to the list of things that he found attractive on his fellow Supernova. So far, they were: his smartass attitude, his eyes, his voice, his body, and devil Fruit ability.

The last one was unexpected, yes, but it was _such _a coolpower! Taking people apart and screwing around with them until they begged to be put back to the way they were must've been hella fun! And it went perfectly well with Law's profession. So yeah, Kid was in love with everything about Law. Go figure.

With his psychotic interests forced aside by the object of his desire, Kid found a rubber nipple pressed into his lips with no choice but to suck it. Law was on the other end of the plastic tube, halfheartedly supporting it as his head throbbed. Nausea kicked in as a plate of food was slid down the table in front of him, and he forced himself not to be sick all over his front. The discomfort he was in was obvious, and Kid helped the bottle to the tray when Law let go of it.

"E-Excuse me!" Law had enough time to slap a hand over his mouth before puke reached the top of his throat. He stepped up from his chair too quickly and slipped, landing onto his knees painfully. Law pressed a hand into the floor as his back arched, vomit spurting from behind his hand. He moved it out of the way when it started traveling up his nose, but he continued to retch all over the steel flooring.

"Waw!" Kid cried as he strained against his harness to turn around.

"I'm okay…" The raven coughed, sitting up to his knees and spitting as hard as he could. Bepo rushed forward with a wet rag, since he was the only non-hung-over crewmember in the room, and cleaned Law's face up. The mess could wait, even though it started to smell already. As the polar bear helped his owner back into a chair, Kid pinched the clasp at his chest, ultimately freeing himself. He stood up and managed to launch onto the table, half sliding and half worm-crawling his way over to the North Blue captain.

"Awe yoo ochay?" Law nodded, but his eyes were screwed shut and he had a greenish tinge on his cheeks. The redhead turned to Bepo. "Dosh dis happem a wot?" _(Are you okay? ... Does this happen a lot?)_

"Only if Captain doesn't sleep it off." Bepo had a massive paw barely pressing onto Law's shoulder, offering support. "After the parties, he sleeps very late."

"So…dis is my faw'?" _(So…this is my fault?)_ Kid was horrified. If he hadn't forced Law awake, he'd be fine.

"Don't be an idiot, Eustass-ya," Law scolded the baby. "Bepo is right; I got drunk last night, now I'm paying the price. I shouldn't have even considered getting so smashed with you around." With the matter of fault sealed, Bepo assumed emergency protocol. The "Captain has been incapacitated" protocol, which the author referred to as…

"Law fucked up in some way, so the fucking _Polar Bear_ with an fucking _Inferiority Complex_ has to take over while he gets better" procedure.

Thusly, Law was carted back to his room to recover from his poor judgment by his former pet, who then proceeded to force-feed him medication. It would have been entertaining to Kid, had he not been so concerned for the raven's state of health.

"So, whas gomma happem mow?" _(So, what's gonna happen now?) _The redhead questioned as he sate next to Law's head. They were both in his bed, exactly where Bepo had left them to give the same meds to his moronic fellows, and Law still looked like crap.

"I sleep this shit off. You're on your own with what you want to do later, but don't expect much…" the combination of fatigue and painkillers had taken their toll, and the Heart Pirate Captain was in a fog. He was drunk all over again. "We'll do something fun tomorrow, I promise." And the bastard was going…going…GONE!

Kid sighed as quietly as he could. _What the hell was that shit and where can I get some? You could put a Sea King down with enough of it! _Exasperated and still a bit hungry, the redhead wrestled his way off the bed and onto the floor. Because Law had also given him some normal clothes when he was changed, Kid wasn't embarrassed as fuck to walk around. Er, crawl. However, halfway through the room, his curiosity got the better of him, and he had to see what was in Law's bathroom.

"Hope dis ism' somfi'g I'w wegwe'…" _(Hope this isn't something I'll regret…) _He muttered, forcing the, coincidentally, ajar door to open all the way. "Regret" wasn't the word for it. More of "shock" or "OH-MAI-GAWD-WUT-TEH-FACK-IS-THIS?" Yeah, the latter definitely worked. The room itself was unbearably girly!

A massive bathtub took up most of the space, deep and pearl-pink, with all sorts of scrubs, gels, soaps, etc. ringing the edges. Actually, every surface was in the same shade of delicate coral, whether it was tile, marble, porcelain, or fabric. The sink counter had candles of all shapes and sizes, with a square mirror occupying the space above it, reaching the ceiling. The toilet was normal, aside from the color, with a can of air freshener sitting on the top of it. At stool was nestled between the counter and toilet, with rolls of TP stack neatly, but they were white. A cabinet sat above it, with God knows what other atrocities inside it.

_And Killer calls my lipstick gay._ _Then again, I kinda am, but this is the scariest thing I've ever seen! _Kid sat there on the floor until his legs fell asleep and he had to roll out the door to escape.

"A' weas' I mow' I have a chamce," the redhead shrugged as he glanced at Law. "'Cep' he's ga' majow issues wi' da cowow pinch…" _(At least I know I have a chance. Except he's got major issues with the color pink…) _With his legs back to normal, Kid crept out of the room silently, even though his roommate could easily sleep through a Buster Call.

'Twas time to make mischief in the Heart Pirate sub!

* * *

><p>As Eustass Kid merrily screwed around with his caretaker's nakama, his own crew was hot on the trail of Jewelry Bonney. Well, crew minus the first mate, who was under the weather. Why don't we check up on him?<p>

"Nnnnngh…Kid… Where are you?" Killer whimpered. He was tied down to his own bed, due to his previous flip out session, and was being tended to by the ship's doctor—he had a high fever. The blond had been stripped of his regular clothing and mask, leaving him in just a tank top and shorts. Also, a wet towel was draped across his forehead, leeching excessive body heat like, well, a leech!

"How is his condition?" Eddie demanded patiently.

"Not well. It may take longer than expected for his fever to break," the heavy-metal physician responded, wringing out a new washcloth. The blue-haired crewmate nodded and left, only to hear Killer crying out as he reached the door.

"Kid! Don't leave! We…we need you…" he moaned and panted like he had just escaped a hoard of Marines. The last time Killer had fallen ill, Kid stayed by his side until he was healthy again. The "Massacre Soldier" had always been slightly disease-prone, no matter how hard he tried to deny it.

"We are nearing her location. All that's left is for Killer-san to get well," Bat-chan stated as Eddie passed by. The mesh-clad man had repaired his amputated antenna, but was still wary of getting too close for comfort.

"Good. We will contact the Heart Pirates as soon as we find a weak spot. Master Kid will be returned to normal."

Not if Jewelry Bonney had her way!

**Yeah, bad ending, I know. Also short, but this is just filler. The bathroom thing just seemed to tie in with Law never letting Kid in there. BTW, I've never gotten a hangover, so if it doesn't work like that, forgive me. Although you had to kind of squint, there was some KidxKiller in there. IT WAS UPON REQUEST! More humiliation in the next chapter, but that may be delayed as well. **

**Reviews make me work faster! You don't need a username, just frickin' click the button! **


	8. Unexpected

**Itsy-Bitsy-Kidsy**

**WARNING! Chapter contains: OOCness, gore, and not much else. Guest appearance by another Supernova, and a Celestial Dragon or two! DISCLAIMER! I don't own One Piece! It would not be as amazing a show if I did!**

**Hello, my peeps! *get beaten over the head* I'm sorry it took so long! This chapter was being a bitch to me, but we both got over it. I'm not sure when my next chapter will be posted, since school is in the way, BUT I WILL RETURN! I SWEAR! Um, to explaint the bitchiness, my computer went nuts and died, so I had to get a new one. There goes my life savings! But, thank you all for being paitent!**

**Review kisses go out to... _Akin D., Yuri 17, Vampire Revan, KawaiiOwO, Lilywonders, TobiBlack, umm yeah, _and _meka 18. _Haha, yeah, _KitChi_, I myeals am wondering how the end is going to go down. Thast's been hard to figure out, honestly. About Killer, he won't get shota'd, but remember, he's been under the weather~! And _Snowiki_, it embarassed me as much as you AND Kid to write out the changing scene. But, it had to happen! About Law and his pants, either he felt too crummy to notice, or I forgot to make him notice. Thanks for pointing that out!**

**Oh, last night, I had an OP dream. I saw Law with his timeskip leather jacket and hat as I knew he looked like, but my subconcious gave him sagging pants and a studded belt. We were in a stadium, and I glomped him from a row up. It was _sooooooooo_ fucking awesome! Now, READ AND ENJOY!**

For once, Kid wasn't pissed to hell when he woke up. He was grinning like a madman, more proud of himself than he'd been in ages. Why? Because he had successfully pissed Law off to the tenth dimension, if that was possible.

Then again, he was being held by his underarms and dangling in the air. A fall from the height he was at could easily kill him.

"Yoo mad?" ***INSERT TROLLFACE ON KID ***

"Never been more in my life."

While the Heart Pirate captain was sleeping off his hangover, Kid decided to fuck around with his ship. While the missing medical equipment, silverware, and everything small and metal was being sorted out with only some trouble, there were larger issues. The stash of neon-yellow paint was broken into and spattered all over the hallways, a whole load of laundry came out pink thanks to one red sock, and the tiny bastard had managed to set of _**six**_ emergency flares on the main deck before he was caught.

There would be an infant sacrifice that night if the crew had their way.

"Before I drop you into the sea to perish, tell me how you managed it," the fuming, dark-eyed man demanded, giving Kid a slight squeeze. The redhead shrugged.

"I jus' focused enuff oo move da me'aw shi', an' da wes' was easee." _(I just focused enough to move the metal shit, and the rest was easy.) _

"Anything else before we say goodbye?" Law questioned as he stepped closer to the railing from the charred patch on the deck. At that point, Kid began to panic a little bit.

"Yesh. I was bowed. Yoo said we wewe gumma do somfi'g fum 'oday. Yoo awso cam' kiw meh," _(Yes. I was bored. You said we going to do something fun today. You also can't kill me.) _Law knew it was the truth and tucked Kid in his arms, safe and sound. However, that was not the last of it.

"We are going into the Sabaody Archipelago today." He stated as they returned inside. It was a quarter to ten in the morning, and breakfast had been served. Law found out when he was with Kid heading to the kitchen; crewmembers scrubbing at paint were a dead giveaway. Upon returning to his quarters, Law dumped Kid on the bed, and started packing supplies away in a bag.

"Sowwy." Kid apologized after several minutes of silence. Law shrugged, knowing it wouldn't have happened if he hadn't gotten sick. He was soon finished with packing, much to Kid's delight. "Ochay, we's go!"

"Hang on there. I'm going to punish you," the raven stepped over to the dresser and pulled out a shopping bag. Kid blinked, confused. Until Law flipped it over right next to him and its contents spilled out.

Remember those "goodies?"

"You're going to wear this while we're out and about," he stated, holding up a set of female infant clothing. It consisted of a strawberry-print dress with white lace on the collar and sleeves, along with matching socks, booties, and hair bows.

Needless to say, Kid exploded when the dressing began.

"_The author has elected to censor this line of dialogue due to its extremely graphic nature. She also apologizes for any inconvenience."_

"I did not know you could kill a person like that," Law muttered as he pressed the final snap. Kid had been foaming at the mouth in rage just moments prior, but was reduced to whimpering that it burned as he clawed against the bed. It made it easier for the Heart captain to slip the footwear on and tie two little pigtails in Kid's soft, red hair. Law put on the sling, slipped Kid inside, and they were off the Archipelago.

* * *

><p>"Aw, what a cute daughter you have!" the cashier of a shaved ice stand cooed as Law paid for a frozen lemonade. He chuckled, said thanks, and left for a bench.<p>

"Yow a sich bas'awd," _(You're a sick bastard)_ Kid seethed as the raven sat the diaper bag down next to them and scooped some of the frozen treat into his mouth.

"Calm down. She probably said that to be polite; we look nothing alike, anyway," Law reasoned as he adjusted Kid's position in his lap. They entered the theme park area for some entertainment, even though the redhead demanded the lawless zones or an auction house. However, Law's infallible logic of "An extremely wanted man carrying a baby would look more than a little suspicious to Marines, vulnerable to bounty hunters, and pricy to slave traders."

"You also make an adorable little girl…" he muttered almost inaudibly. It was entirely true.

"Wha' was da?" Kid questioned, looking straight upwards.

"Oh, nothing. Want some of this?" the raven held his cup of flavored ice up. The redhead thought for a moment, deemed it harmless, and nodded. Law raised his right thigh, elevating Kid's body, and spooned some of the sweet between those supple candy lips. He shivered as it touched his teeth, but allowed it to melt, enjoying its pungency. "I didn't know you liked sweets, Eustass-ya."

"I mowmally dom'. Dis jus' 'astes good." _(I normally don't. This just tastes good.)_ Indifference was one of Kid's subtle talents.

"Wanna go on a ride?" Law was prepared to do anything to make the surly South Blue baby satisfied.

"I dummo. If yoo we' me have mowe of da' ice, I'w tew yoo," _(I dunno. If you let me have more of that ice, I'll tell you)_ Kid bargained. Law sighed and gave him more, but not so much that he would get sick.

"Well?"

"Fewwis wheew. I wich heighs." _(Ferris wheel. I like heights.)_

"Okay then. Whatever you say." Law tucked Kid back into position, threw the empty cup away, and headed off in the direction of the park rides. Luckily for them, the ride lines weren't too long, but they were chock-full of, ya guessed it, _females_.

"Oh, she's sooooo cute~!" the woman at the pay booth crooned as Law bought tickets in. It irritated Kid to no end that he could easily pass off as a girl, but since it was for only one day, he let it slide. When the lady slammed her body up against the glass panel, the Heart captain got the heck out of there.

"That is the weirdest fricking Ferris wheel I've ever seen," Law commented as they boarded a bubble. Kid had to suppress a gasp of surprise and joy as they began to move upwards and back, but it was a pleasant feeling as they reached the top. Kid shifted around in the raven's arms, trying to get a better view of the park around them. He was enjoying himself so much that he forgot he was in drag; big surprise. Law smiled behind the redhead's back, finding the whole situation to be adorable beyond compare.

It was going to be somewhat bittersweet for Trafalgar when his ginger rival was turned back to normal. He'd miss the heart-wrenchingly cute moments and the duties of a parent, like feedings and dressings, but having Eustass back to his inhumanly sexy self was well worth it. Very, _very _well worth it…

One short ride later, the two Supernovas were strolling around the park, calm and content with everything. That was, until some girl screamed loud enough to break glass. Seriously, the game booth about ten yards from them just cracked and shattered! Whipping their heads around, they saw a middle-aged woman with a baby of her own, freaking out and pointing at them.

"Quick! Somebody call the Marines! There's a Supernova here!" Luckily for Law, they were at an angle, so nobody could see them but her. Soon, her husband returned to her, calming her down, believing that she was just having a breakdown. Before she could explain herself, the dark-haired man rushed away to safety.

"Way oo go, Fawga. Maybee yow jus' ma' as im'imida'ig wif me awoud," _(Way to go, Trafalgar. Maybe you're just not as intimidating with me around) _Kid teased. Law shot him a death-glare, but continued walking.

"I think we're done with the rides for today, Chibi-Eustass-ya," he retorted. Kid huffed, still loathing that nickname, but was happy not to get caught. Trouble was the last thing he needed while in his current state—of body and garb. They exited the park, and were walking aimlessly around the tourist area, when trouble said hi again.

"Trafalgar? What are you doing here?" a monotone voice demanded from behind them. The Heart captain wheeled around to see none other than Basil Hawkins and a few of his own nakama scaring the crap out of the locals. Explained why it was suddenly so quiet…

"Enjoying an afternoon off," Law responded in a casual tone.

"Of course. You suddenly decided to visit the tamest section of the Sabaody Archipelago alone, with an infant that suspiciously resembles Eustass "Captain" Kid strapped to your chest. I don't need my Powers to tell that you are lying."

Ouch. Was it really that transparent of a situation?

"I assure you, that is not what's going on here," the dark-skinned man tried his best to play off the accusation. He was able to keep his cool until Kid blew it.

"Wha' da hew, bwondee? Dis fucha swaps me im a dwess amd yoo say I wooch wich mysewf?" _(What the hell, blonde? This fucker slaps me in a dress and you say I look like myself?) _The redhead yelled in his high-pitched, baby tone of voice.

"I rest my case," Hawkins finished. Or not, "So, that glutton Jewelry get to you? I'm surprised, Eustass. More so that you are allowing a rival to carry you." Man, he knew how to hit a nerve!

"Yow a fweach," Kid snarled, but the intimidation factor was lost, for obvious reasons. When Basil didn't even bat an eyelash, the infant part of Kid's brain took over, and he settled for a heavy pout.

Law sighed and bounced the little serial killer in his arms. "What do you want, Basil?"

"I would say 'a fight,' but I can see that you are busy playing nursemaid at the moment. Sometime in the New World, then?" Before Law could answer and/or flip him off, Hawkins and his fagalicious crew had left.

"Asshole," the North Blue boy seethed. He never had much love for his fellow Supernovas (aside from Kid and little bit of Luffy) but the voodoo doll user even disturbed Law. Something about the straw creature he became when he was fighting just weirded him out!

"Dis had beem a s'wa'ge day…" _(This had been a strange day…) _Kid thought out loud.

"You bet. What's next, a Celestial Dragon?" Law rhetorically asked with a sarcastic tone that gave the author a lovely idea for later.

* * *

><p>Another half hour of strolling and enjoying the calm weather, the pair stopped for lunch. Pre-packed formula and cereal for Kid, and tuna salad sandwiches for Law. Fortunately for the both of them, there were no deranged waitresses at the little teashop they ate at, just a bitter host. Eh, he was bitter if judged by all the sour glances he kept giving Law.<p>

_Don't hate me 'cause you ain't me… _He thought as they left and got one last skunk-eye. (FYI, he got that quote off a fat chick's T-shirt.) When a bubble bigger than Kid when he was an adult came by and swallowed them up, they enjoyed the ride.

Until it floated thirty feet above a crowd of people on their knees.

"Ah, shit," Law cursed the world as a pair of Celestial Dragons paraded down the street.

"Yoo jus' had oo say 'Cewestiaw Dwagom,' didm't yoo?" _(You just had to say 'Celestial Dragon,' didn't you?) _Kid chided angrily. In reality, he didn't blame Law, just the fact that the universe had a really sick, twisted sense of humor.

"Please don't let them notice us," the furry-capped man muttered as they bobbed closer and closer to them. They slowly lost altitude, and when they were at twenty feet and edging closer and closer, the male one looked up. "Fuck."

_BAM!_

He had whipped out one of those stupid, cylindrical guns and popped the bubble, sending Law ass first into the earth. A sickening _crack _rang out as he landed on his leg, but Kid was (ohthankgawd) unharmed. The dark-eyed captain bit back a cry and held Kid tighter to his chest, not wanting to look at the epicenter of agony that was his right leg. Bystanders flinched at the sight of it, grossly bent and a lump bulging through his pants. Law met the eyes of the so-called "Saint" that shot him down, pouring as much rage as he could muster through the pain.

He was an ugly little fucker, to say the least. With blotchy skin and googly eyes, partnered with the over puffiness of his lips—probably from poorly-mixed genes—he was an eyesore, if Law did say himself. Worse, the resin bubble around his misshapen head magnified it in detail. He was laughably stump-like, and from the look of things, not much older than Law, with a suit that was a sickly orange color, with baby barf (ha-ha, irony) green accents.

The woman was more attractive by far, but had a hideous sneer on her face. She looked like she wanted to make everyone around her suffer for existing in her world. (A/N: I guess the helmets weren't enough…) Lankier than her counterpart, the skin on her face was tanned and stretched tight over the bones in her face, giving her a horse-like aura, especially since they both had the same over-sized lips. She had a purple-pink suit and earrings the size of dinner plates. They both had mahogany-red hair, pulled into the ridiculous swirls of their people.

"Whaat do we haave heere, broother Kristouf?" the woman dragged out in a screechy voice.

"I'm not shure, shishter Roshalind. Trash outshide it'sh can?" Kristouf (rhymes with piss-floof) slurred back to his sibling, Rosalind. Spit flew from his mouth and spattered on the bubble in front of him.

"Sonuvabitch!" Law hissed. "Kid, no matter what happens, _act like a baby_!" Sure, he sliced up Marines for sport and laughed at Luffy punching making world history, but he wasn't hurt at the time, and had his nodachi on hand. Before he had time to get up and run, broken leg or no broken leg, Kristouf asked one of his dressed-up legal assistants a dreadful question.

"Thish man sheemsh familiar. Who ish he?"

"He is Trafalgar Law," the man answered, "a Supernova with a bounty of 200,000,000 Beli and captain of the Heart Pirates. An excellent addition to your North Blue collection."

"I liike the baaby he has. She maatches the laast slaave I bought~!" Rosalind cooed in an awful tone. Law felt Kid tense up in his arms at her comment.

"Sho be it. Take them both," Kristouf ordered, and three men came up to Law with slave collars. Still on the ground, he crouched on one leg, the other relatively useless, and held Kid fast. The strap of the now thin diaper bag was roughly grabbed by an unseen hand behind the hatted male and ripped off, pulling him backwards. When Law fell over, a man punched him in the face. The guy was rewarded with a super-powered blow to his groin. Scuttling away on his back, Law didn't get far before the last lawyer-like servant grabbed him bad leg and pulled. Hard.

The scream ripped from Law's throat was horrible. What followed it was actually unexpected by the Saints.

"_FUCK YOU_!" the hoodie wearing captain screeched at the top of his lungs. Using his good boot and natural flexibility, Law partially jackknifed upwards and sunk a heel into his assailant's face. The snapping-crunch noise was almost worth the pain, and the hold on his leg was loosened. The dickhead who grabbed him first rushed up, but Law, spinning on his hip, swept his legs out from under him. "Are you okay, Kid?" he asked, sitting up and releasing his death grip slightly.

"I'm dizzy as hew, bu' I shuod be ochay. By da way, whem did yoo leawm oo do da?" _(I'm dizzy as hell, but I should be okay. By the way, when did you learn to do that?) _Typical, Kid saw the less important things first. However, when his gaze fell to his ankle, he gasped. It was halfway turned inward, but Law's knee was upright.

"Calm down, Eustass-ya; it's not as bad as it looks." Law was sweating, and his tone of voice gave the suffering he was in away. The Celestial Dragon siblings stared at him, like they had never before been defied by a potential slave. He panted slightly and winced, shifting Kid in his arms and placing more weight on his left leg. In a burst of adrenaline and epinephrine (pain hormone), he stood up, shocking the entire crowd.

"Sho reshilant. Why don't you jusht shtay down?" Kristouf raised his gun again, and fired.

_BAM!_

He grazed the side of Law's hat, taking a few wisps of fur off.

"God damnit, your aims sucks ass!" Law screamed at him. "If you want me as a slave, I suggest you aim lower, if at all!" venting the pain from the break in his tibia and fibula, the North Blue captain was prepared to go down with a fight. _Fuck. I can't feel below my knee. _Law cursed the world inside his head.

"Hoow daare you insuult my broother, traash!" Rosalind squealed in disgust. "Hoow haard is it too caatch an injuurd maan and a baby?" Kid would've screamed back, but seeing Law in so much pain kept him from making the situation worse. Apparently, Law could handle that himself…

"Bitch."

_BAM! _

Kristouf fired off another shot, this time hitting Law in the right thigh. The bullet went straight through his leg, knocking him backwards with shock and pain. He heard Kid scream his name as he fell backwards, the redhead still tied to his chest. Blood pumped from his body, staining his spotted jeans. The world became hazy, and Law felt his eyes begin to close. Kid screamed again, but it was followed by a high-pitched whistle, then a small explosion.

The world became black as Law felt himself be picked up by a pair of thin but sturdy arms.

* * *

><p>"<em>Captain…" <em>

Fuzzy light and shapes entered Law's brain, partnered with familiar, concerned voices.

"_Can't believe… What's it mean…?" _

He felt warm softness all around him. He didn't feel any pain of any kind, and he kind of wanted the voices to shut up.

"…_by a Dragon, no less… He won't be happy…" _

The voices slowly became louder and clearer, along with the light. Law soon found his own voice and vision, and used them. Opening his eyes, he saw shadows in a bright, circular light. One of his arms itched and hurt, and something was covering his face.

"The hell…?" Law questioned as he forced himself up on one elbow, the better one. He was wrapped in blankets and in nothing but his underwear. Sitting up all the way, he removed the oxygen mask over his mouth and nose, but didn't fiddle with the IV lines in his arm. One of them had blood, and he didn't feel like making a mess; only then did the captain realize that he was in his own infirmary, with his crew hovering over him.

"Captain!" Bepo cried with relief. "We were so worried!" The polar bear forced himself not to choke the life out of his old friend via hugging.

"Bepo, how did I even get here? Last thing I remember, a Celestial Dragon wanted me as his slave and shot me!" in a rare moment of confusion, the disoriented captain allowed his cool demeanor to waiver, and outright panic seeped into his voice. "Where's Kid? What the hell happened?" Law threw the blankets off and tried to stand up, but he felt faint and stumbled to the floor. His right leg was completely covered in gauze and plaster.

"Sencho, stop!" Penguin scolded as he helped ease the wounded man back onto the gurney. "As soon as you calm down, we can explain everything!"

"Okay," Law was embarrassed for being told off like a child by one of his subordinates, but he deserved it. He laid back down and allowed his nakama to slip his foot into a sling to keep the swelling down, and story time began. Bepo started by rattling off the extent of his injuries. Apparently, his lower leg was badly broken, the muscles in his thigh were torn, and he had a nasty bump on his head, _and_ had lost a little too much blood.

It would take him at least two months to fully heal, and possibly another one of intense physical therapy. Until then, he would be restricted to a wheelchair or crutches.

"Great, I'm crippled. Now, _is Kid okay_?" the worry in his voice was returning.

"He wasn't hurt. Right now, he's sleeping; I can go get him if you want," Penguin offered. His captain nodded fervently, anxious to see his crush. The pompom wearing shipmate returned with a snoozing Kid in his arms, free of the dress he bore earlier. He awoke as soon as he landed in Law's lap.

"Awe yoo ochay, Waw?" the redhead asked, eyes watery with concern and sleep. The amount of cuteness radiating off of him was like kryptonite to the Heart captain, who was only able to nod in response. "Bad news. We bof owe da' queew Hawchims ouw wives. He saved us fwom de Cewestiaw Dwagoms." _(Are you okay, Law? Bad news. We both owe that queer Hawkins our lives. He saved us from the Celestial Dragons.) _

"What?" Law gasped. It made no sense for a rival to help them, especially from what the two of them faced: slavery or death.

"Basil brought you here, Captain," Bepo told the story as best he could.

_**Begin flashback**_

_The smoke bomb had worked perfectly. Thick, obscuring fog surrounded the area, allowing Hawkins to leap down from the building he was perched on and grab his fellow Supernova. At first, he thought about leaving them, but his cards said he was not to die or become a slave. He saved their lives with some reluctance. Carrying Trafalgar's vulnerable, bloody form to safety, the baby part of Kid's brain took over as he sobbed quietly into Law's chest. _

"_Silence, Eustass. Trafalgar is not destined to die today, and we are safe now. My crew's doctor will treat him, and you'll be back with his crew in no time." While Hawkins' words were stern and direct, they soothed Kid's nerves. Still attached to Law by the sling, he listened to his shallow breathing, begging him to hold on. _

"_Huwwy…" Hawkins was taken aback by the amount of compassion Kid had for Law. A man who earned his 315,000,000 Beli bounty by slaughtering those who dared to laugh at him…was begging Basil to save another rival._

They are either in love, or the apocalypse is upon us. _The blond concluded as he rushed through the backstreets. Law's hat never flew off for some reason, no matter how fast they were going _(magic!) _and they reached Basil's ship in minutes. By then, his white coat sleeves had been colored red from carrying Law bridal-style. _

_The doctor was able to stop the bleeding and set the break, but he was not equipped to do anything further. Knowing that the Heart Pirate crew probably had more skills than his own doctor, Hawkins rushed the two back to Law's crew. It was a rather awkward experience for them all. _

_**End flashback**_

While Law struggled to absorb the information given to him, Kid had nodded off. It was a hectic day, especially for a child his size. Bepo handed his captain a folded piece of paper moments later. He opened it, and in sharp, angular handwriting, it said:

_I hope to see you alive in the New World. _

_-Basil Hawkins_

"Great. I owe a voodoo-loving girly-man my life," Law sighed. He looked at Penguin, "Orange juice, please?" Penguin nodded and ran to the kitchen for Law's drink. He was about to take some painkillers and go to sleep when a very irksome sound rang out…

_Bellup-bellup-bellup! Bellup-bellup-bellup!_

"The Den Den? Bepo, bring it to me!" the fluffy bear complied. He picked it up with Bepo still holding it. "Hello?"

"_Trafalgar Law. We've got her. We've got Bonney." _

**Oooh, semi-dramatic ending~! **

**Okay, I have some splainin to do! A). I have no idea if the Sabaody bubbles can do that, I just wanted something to happen with them. B). Hawkins is another one of my Supernova bitches, so I just threw him in there for fun. C). Well, I originally wanted to have rabid mothers go maternal and, erm, end up getting breast milk all over Kid and Law, forcing them to return home and clean up. I changed it because it would be REALLY gross, there's been enough crazy women in this fic, and it would mean more baby nudity, which would make one of my endings seem disgusting. I went with Dragons. It honestly makes the ending easier for me.**

**Okay, I think that's all. Oh, wait, Law couldn't use _Room _or _Shambles,_ because he left his nodachi behind, and without it, his power is damn near useless. Incase I forgot to mention it, Kid was in the baby sling the entire time. The bathroom episode from the last chapter will be explained later.**

**NOW WE'RE DONE! Please, for the love of all that's Oda, REVIEW! And, maybe, go to my profile and answer my poll...?**


	9. Back To, Uh, Normal?

**Itsy-Bitsy-Kidsy**

**WARNING! Chapter contains: OOCness, the usual ridiculous humor, nothing new. DISCLAIMER! One Piece is not mine. This fanfiction is. **

**Hello, did you miss me? *Gets slaughtered* Yes, I am late, but I had shit to do. I also went twice as insane as I was before.** **Okay, since I got so many excellent reviews for chapter 8, I'll respond to them in a different format.**

**KitChi-Who knew Hawkins' cards could be so vague? Naw, he din't know, but it was super obvious! (Not everyone can trollface like Kid!) Killer hasn't seen the last of my cruelty! MWAHAHAHA-*cough~cough* Thanks for another awesome review!**

**meka18-Thanks!**

**Snowiki-I make stupid shit happen in the most retarded of ways. I caught the drift, and I'll try to make it a little bit more saucy~! Law has probabaly never cared what civilians think about him, and his fangirls just ignore the illegal part of his career. I doubt that anyone could ever deny a baby girl any attention. I actually designed his "punishment" after one of my baby pictures! Thank you for the ever-amazing feedback!**

**KimiKumicu-*JAWDROP* I am 1000% on board! Enjoy it!**

**Vampire Revan-Hawkins is one step away from man-lady. Well, she's got some psycho-ass powers... Thanks!**

**Akin D.-It could've ended worse for all of them, so Law has to be a little grateful. Baby crossdressing is just too much fun! Thanks for da review!**

**18plusForMe-Touché._ I_ should thank _you_ for reading it, and I am. I'm glad I have so many great fans!**

**Silverwoulf-Yes, Law is a terrible man. A terrible, incredibly sexy man. Just wait a little longer to find out! THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR SPREADING THE WORD! Damn, I hope I'm not too late...**

**KawaiiOwO-Uh...I forgot! Thanks!**

**Shiary-I love hearing those words~! Mega thanks~!**

**Natsuki Akari-I think that was the best line sequence in this whole story. Oh, that's so sweet of you to say!**

**Lilywonders-Uguu~! You're far too kind to meh! I hope I was fast enough! (The squeals feel good, don't they?)**

**A.E. Stover-In case the messaging didn't work, I'll tell you here: HOLY. SHIT. I'm glad that you love it so much, and I'm delighted to let you use this. But, there should be about one more chapter, so you might want to see how it all ends before you use it. Seriously, you will need to. Mother of God, this is amazing for me... I'll check out your fic as soon as I can!**

**trypheria-While I'm glad that you saw my profile, I have to be frank: You were spot-on with the "Lot on my plate" thing. But, the idea intrigues me. However, just to be safe, by "M-Rated" did you mean IvaxLaw romance? Sex, I mean. Please clarify, and thanks so much for the love!**

**OHHH~! I don't deserve you all! This is like a high one can only feel with success and a little bragging! YOU ALL MAKE ME BLUSH SO HARD! I 3 U!**

It was dark in the medical ward when Law came to. Eddie has called the night before, telling him that they had Jewelry Bonney and they should rendezvous at high noon to turn Kid back into his angry, alcoholic self. Speaking of which, he was snoozing in the crib next to the green-sheeted bed, so fucking cute that it made Law's heart throb in that special way that only something adorable can provoke. To top it off, he was in the pink sleeper, with the hat, making him look like a plushie. They had both demanded that Kid needed to stay close, and since Law was still on painkillers and a transfusion, a few crewmembers moved the baby bed into the infirmary.

It was around four a.m., and the only light was coming off the EKG machine, which beeped steadily. Funny, really, since a mother's heartbeat is like a lullaby to fetuses, and Kid had barely stirred with Law's echoing slightly through the room. Acting on impulse, the latter reached out to his right side, needles and all, to caress the redhead's shoulder—he was sleeping on his side. He curled into the familiar touch, making cute, little noises that made Law melt all over again.

"Eustass-ya…" he whispered. "No matter what form you're in, I will always love you." Before Law could confess his desires to deaf ears, the medication took affect again, and the tattoo captain was asleep again, arm still hanging into Kid's crib. Later on that night, Bepo had snuck in to check on his friend and captain, only to see the chibi'd rival cuddling with Law's hand. Needless to say, he left seconds later.

They both slept well. Law dreamt of being in the North Blue, enjoying his favorite pastime (that wasn't medically-related), snowboarding. He was tearing it up one the mountains when his favorite person in the world dropped in: Eustass Kid. They were in perfect synchronization, weaving through the course with ease and sneaking provocative grins in when they could. As the trail began to end, Law had the insane notion that he had to show off for the fellow captain, seeing as the slopes had been his territory since he could walk. As the frosted landscape sped by even faster, Law heard Kid call out to him.

"_Law, look out!" _As the darker-skinned man turned his head forward again, he caught a flash of the frozen, splintery stump in front of him before he crashed. He lay in a twisted wreck up against another tree until Kid maneuvered over to him, worry plastered on his face. Wordlessly, the redhead plucked him up in arms, holding him close, but not painfully so. _"Are you hurt?" _

"_My ankle, it took the impact; probably sprained it, if not worse." _His joint was twisted in an off angle, and Law's pants had ripped on the stump. Blood trickled slightly, and Law whimpered in pain. Kid sighed, held his rival tight, snapped a branch off of a nearby tree, and splinted the break. He ripped more of Law's pant fabric to use as a bandage, but wrapped Law in his outer coat, much to the skinny man's protest. Kid carried him into town, took him to the doctor (his mom) and lugged him to his house.

"_How foolish of you…" _Kid breathed huskily as he laid Law down on the bed. Inching closer and closer, their lips closed in on each other.

Law woke up right before they kissed. Damn.

Kid's dream was much simpler. He beat the Celestial Dragons that hurt Law in reality as the latter clung to his chest, whimpering. It was a win-win for Eustass: he got revenge on those bastards, and got Law as a super uke. He supported him with one arm while he tortured the so-called Saints with the other. He woke up right after they checked into the nearby hotel for a "health check."

Perverted little fucker.

Well, despite what his dream was about to become, Kid was irreversibly tired when Law nudged him awake, and he fell back to sleep moments later. Law sighed, his eyes aching with longing to be closed again. His homemade sedative/painkillers really did the trick—he had to have been out for more than the entire night. But, the night was over, and rosy sunshine was gleaming through the thick portholes in the Heart submarine, casting soft, eye-pleasing shadows. Morning always was Law's favorite time of day…

"Ah~!" the darker skinned man hissed in pain as he moved his leg off the bed and on to the floor. It wasn't really pain, so to speak, so much as the sudden shock of movement and the bizarre tingling one gets when he or she drops their foot too quickly. (A/N: Grammar Nazi!) There lied another problem: pants. The plaster came up close to his hip, so he could cut the ripped side off at the top and wear it normally. Yeah, that would work; now all he needed were his jeans and some scissors.

But both were across the room. No crutches in sight, and the IV stand was long gone; plus, he was still attached to the machine. The string of curses that flew out from Law's mouth were so vulgar and shameless could have made Kid blush, if he were conscious at the time. Not wanting to embarrass himself by trying to cross the room unassisted, the Surgeon of Death lay back down, and stared at the water colored ceiling. The pale pinks and gold's were beautiful, reflecting into his ship with angelic grace.

_Dear God. I sound like Luna. Maybe Lindsey, but she always said she never had the time to sentimental… _Law dragged out his mental conversation as long as he could, just to entertain himself. He laced his fingers behind his head, stretching out, but it was mostly to see how long and how well-made his cast was. The verdict: Too long for his liking, and it was top-notch. After all, he trained all of his nakama first aid and basic surgical skills in case the shit really hit the fan and Law was incapacitated.

Like what happened just yesterday! Sometimes the Heart captain wondered if he was cursed by some kind of death reaper he cheated or offended in one of his many life-saving or life-ending performances. Or maybe it was just Murphy's Law… Either way, life loved to screw with the rookie just like everyone else in the world. Actually, when he thought about it, Kid getting his ass turned into a baby might not have been such a bad thing—the chances of both Supernova making it through the New World long enough to meet again were slim.

"The very second this thing is off my leg and he's back to normal, _we hook up_," Law declared aloud, unaware of how delicate a situation like that really was. (What if Kid didn't like him like _that_?) Only seconds later did Penguin slip into help his captain prepare for the big day ahead. It scared the raven-haired man so much he jerked upwards and accidentally landed his leg on the metal base of the bed. Yet again, he cussed up a storm. It was going to be such a fun morning!

"How's Killer-san doing?" Bat-chan inquired, pulling Eddie to the side. The blue-skinned man sighed, exhausted by the attempt of capturing Jewelry Bonney and keeping Killer calm. His fever had spiked right after apprehending the pink-haired bitch, causing him to hallucinate; Eddie found him curled into a ball and rocking on the balls of his feet. The bodice-wearing crewmate had slung him over his shoulder and threw him into bed. Getting medicine into him was another, traumatizing experience that would never be brought up ever again so long as he lived.

"He could be better, but I think he's fully aware of his surroundings. I'm just hoping he doesn't lose it and throw everything off. Jewelry's been stubborn up to this without any 'convincing.'" Eddie replied in his usual gravelly voice. As if on cue, the wild blond partially staggered up onto the deck, still mask-free, muttering something about being fine and to lay off. Eddie sighed again and looked out to the sea; Bonney's own crew was within a hundred yards or more of them, anxiously awaiting her return. If she cooperated with their demands, she could leave in one piece.

They sieged her ship right as it sank for Fishman Island, dragging her off in sea stone cuffs and chains. Killer was still incapacitated, but they had escaped without any age-related malfunctions, thank God. Bonney was, at the moment, hissing and spitting at crewmates that passed her by, pissed that she was tied down to the mast. However, she was totally still when no one was around.

The female rookie had her fair share of tricks up her sleeves…

* * *

><p>"I fuchi'g hay yoo. Yoo wiw die whem dis is ova. Yoo shouwd 'owe da by 'ow…" <em>(I fucking hate you. You will die when this is over. You should know that by now…) <em>Kid seethed as Law fitted him into the sling. Law chose to humiliate him one last time and dressed him in a baby-blue shirt with the words "BAD BOY" in childish scrawl on the front. Along with the junior graphic tee, he bore light grey shorts and cute, little booties—utterly adorable, but not as much as the panda sleeper. The perpetrator who dressed him in such a horrific manor was now fitting his armpits into crutches and trying to see if the cutoff of his pant leg was too short.

"Are you ready, Eustass-ya?" he questioned upon securing _everything_. Pouting slightly, he nodded, more than ready to return to normal and have Law's juicy, hot ass. As the ship gained speed underwater and headed towards Kid's own, he pondered how his crew had gotten along without him. God forbid it went like last time… But, still tired, he nodded off in the flannel sack against Law's firm chest.

The yellow sub surfaced in just minutes within jumping distance from the skeleton-decorated deck. But, since the captain could barely walk three steps, Bepo gathered him up in his furry, erm, arms and launched onto the opposite deck. The landing wasn't exactly graceful, but it worked. Suave as ever, Law stood up out of his former pet's paws, held his crutch out in front of him and stepped in front of Eddie, who was the closest. The awkwardness was palpable—Kid was a snoozing infant, happy as could be in his rival's lethal-but-gentle hold. A soft whisper travelled through some of the crewmates by the opposite side of the ship, but things stayed relatively silent.

"So, where is Jewelry-ya?" the tattooed man questioned, gratingly casual. Eddie pointed to the wooden post she was chained to, looking exhausted. Law nodded, wary of the entire crew's actions. "Where's Killer-ya? Shouldn't he be here?"

"I'm right here," a rather hoarse voice responded. Turning his head to find the source, Law found the scarred man leaning almost completely into the lower deck doorframe. Killer panted slightly and pushed himself away from the wall, staggering over like a drunkard. A cloud of nervousness hung over the ship. The awkward had been well replaced…

"You look like hell," the Heart captain blurted. He obviously didn't regret it, seeing as he kept a flawless poker face. Killer smirked, subconsciously moving a hand to his hip in a very sassy manor.

"Yeah… The fuck happened to you?" Killer motioned a scythe-free hand at the plaster monstrosity smothering Law's right leg. Irritation made itself clear on the captain's face.

"I'll explain later," Law forced through his teeth. He turned to Bepo and gave a stiff nod. The kung-fu animal jumped up back onto the top level of the sub, grabbed Kid's coat and such, and returned to the gathering before a minute had ticked by. Suddenly, Kid himself came to, mind clear as crystal.

"Did yoo ge' my suff bach fwom hew?" _(Did you get my stuff back from her?)_ He directed towards Killer. The latter was confused as to what his captain said exactly, but got the gist of it.

"Yeah, you're weapons' belt and boots waiting for you downstairs," the messy blond answered. "Let's get this fucking show on the road." Killer declared as he strode over to Bonney and unlocked her main restraint. Her wrists were still in sea stone cuffs and a chain wrapped around her waist, so Killer was completely unconcerned. Maybe it was the pounding headache, but he suddenly didn't giving a flying about anything; sooner Kid returned, the better. Law set the redhead on the deck, ready for his quick increase in size.

"Bich, if yoo twy amyfi'g fummy, I wiw swaugh'ew yoo." _(Bitch, if you try anything funny, I'll kill you.) _Kid snarled as intimidatingly as he could. The bared baby teeth and sunken 'eyebrows' were laughable—however, Bonney just blew her bangs out of her eyes. Unharmed, but missing her precious hat, she had been snatched and had the stone bracelets snapped on her before she could turn the Kid Pirate crew into old men and children. As soon as Eddie had one of his swords at her throat, Bonney's own nakama backed off. Bat-chan promised her safe return later on.

Something in the big eater's eyes worried Eddie... Like she saw it coming and had a plan…

Just to make matters worse for the dreadlock-wearing crewmate, Killer was too emotionally unstable to warn. But there he was, holding Jewelry Bonney on a leash just feet from himself. Kid sat on the wooden floor expectantly, ready to _unleash _hell and all its damnation on all living beings from there to the other side of the Red Line. Killer carefully removed the first cuff, wary of her movements.

"You do this right, you can leave," he warned, voice a tad shaky. Sweat dripped along the thin scar on his face from his fever—if something were to happen, he would be too weak to fight. Eddie was nearby, both blades drawn and ready for anything. The chain around Bonney's stomach tightened, and the second half of the handcuffs fell free. She rubbed her chaffed wrists, shot Kid a dirty look, and placed her hands in front of herself, pointed directly at the redhead.

"Just so you bastards know, it's a little bit harder to turn people back," she whispered. What sounded like a popgun shot amplified to an earsplitting level rang out and inky black smoke simultaneously appeared. Everyone was blinded; ripping fabric and the rattling of chains was heard. "Son of a bitch!" Bonney screamed. She tugged her restraint out from Killer's hand, spun around, and kicked him in the head as hard as she could. He crumpled onto the deck, unconscious.

As chaos ensued, Kid's body grew back to his normal age. However, the process was immensely painful, as if his bones were being stretched and the rest of him was following in suit. On his knees, he shivered, body racking with pain. He couldn't scream as the fiery sensation traveled through his nervous system. Writhing on the deck, he struggled to breathe normally and began to pass out from both his closing airway and the overwhelming pain. With a loud thud, Kid collapsed forward, fully grown but unseen in Jewelry's escape attempt.

In actuality, the only side-effect of turning a person back to their original age was the uncontrollable hunger Bonney always succumbed to. It happened whenever she changed her own age, and since it was her main attack strategy, the female rookie was never full. Strangely enough, she kept her word to the crew; the suffering Kid was subjected to was what happened to Bonney whenever she tried messing with ages early on in her career. When she was still getting used to her Devil Fruit power, it hurt like hell for both de- and re-aging. She simply hadn't thought of torturing the redhead during their fight.

"See ya later, dumbass!" Bonney yelled out as her own crew rescued her. With the impenetrable cover still swirling around the Kid Pirate ship, they were oblivious to the harpoon flying at them. It had a large chunk of lightweight foam on the end of the barb, which Bonney dove to when it landed by her captors' ship. Floating back to safety, she flipped her enemies off as she was tugged away. She still had the chain wrapped around her waist. That would be difficult to remove without bloodshed.

Law was knocked off his already unsteady feet as the splash waves rocked the boat. Ignoring the sore spot on his side, the dark-skinned man wiped the reflexive tears from his eyes and scoured the midnight-colored deck for Kid. When the boat lurched a second time, he stopped moving.

"What just happened?" Bat-chan cried as the smokescreen cleared. Everything was quiet for a nanosecond as Jewelry Bonney sailed away. The Heart pirates were too stunned to move off their ship, just as Law blankly stared at the scene in front of him. Killer was out cold with blood trickling from his brow line, and a fully-grown and _very _naked Eustass Kid was facedown with his eyes rolling into his head.

"Eustass-ya!" Law gasped, shocked by (his gorgeous body) the state he was in. He quickly belly crawled over to the comatose redhead. Flipping him over and ignoring the fact that Kid was now packing a dick that was roughly the size and color of a beluga whale, Law attempted to wake him up. Eddie was at his side in moments, both covering Kid with his coat and helping Bepo lift him up. "Take him back to my ship; Killer, too. I'll treat them both."

"Fine, but I'm coming with you," Eddie bargained. Bat-chan had Killer in his arms, just as Bepo did with Kid. Both were handed off to Jean Bart and then to gurneys as Law awaited his turn to enter his own ship. One polar bear ride later, the raven-captain was examining two other Supernovas for injuries. Killer was easy: he was still sick and had a concussion. Nothing bed rest and painkillers couldn't fix.

Kid, on the other hand, was a mystery. He was exactly the same as the seconds before Jewelry Bonney changed him, just asleep and with no sign of waking up. All they could do was wait and see. With time given, Law chose to dress Kid from the waist down—it was a very interesting experience.

"Fuck it all!" the North Blue captain swore for the fifth time in a row. He hadn't even gotten Kid's underwear anywhere near where it should have been, but Law was standing over the scrub sink trying to staunch the nosebleed of his lifetime. Earlier, he had been too concerned with the redhead's well-being to notice the massive amount of spectacular muscle and penis Kid suddenly had to go pervert on him. Or any time they had been together in recent weeks. But, with the diagnosis set and Eddie not around, he couldn't help himself—one look at his bare, god-like body and everything Law had fantasized about and more flooded his sex-starved mind.

"I can do this…" Law muttered as he stuffed cotton up his nostrils. But, he didn't get far; one rip of the green sheets away from his body, and Law tasted blood. It was so uncomfortable! To add fuel to the fire, Killer began to stir in the next bed over, scaring the crap out of the Heart captain. "Damn it…! Okay, this must be done, and now!"

In a ridiculous blur of yellow and red, Law dressed Kid just enough to give him some decency. When he stopped spinning, Law sighed and sat down on the redhead's bed.

_I spend two weeks feeding him and cleaning him, but when he's back to normal, I can't help myself. _Law put his face in his hand, suddenly exhausted by his recent efforts. _This has been one of my stranger days... Whatever, time to check up on Killer-ya. _Carefully standing back up, the doctor grabbed a penlight and a chart to record Killer's reactions.

"Oi, rise and shine, Killer-ya," Law insisted as he tapped on the blonde's exposed face. He didn't arise immediately, allowing Law to do a little face exploring. Aside from the scar that ran from his hairline to his chin, there were stich marks around his eyebrows and chin; a small piece of his left ear was torn away. He was still an attractive man, but with his alley-cat like demeanor, he seemed a little more ferocious. Without the bucket over his head, that is…

"Wha…?" he murmured, disoriented. Instantly, his head throbbed, and he reached for the heavy bandaging around it. Law pushed his hand back down and kept him from moving. "The fuck happened?"

"Well, Killer-ya, when Jewelry-ya kicked you in the head, she gave you a mild concussion. Eustass-ya's back to normal, by the way," Law droned as he pried the Massacre Soldier's eyes open. When he tested them the first time, they were a cloudy green and, of course, uneven. Now, they were a sharp, breathtaking emerald. They stood out against the rest of his face, large and round, giving him a bi-polar facial structure. After some ogling, and Killer swatting his hand away, Law got on with the examination. "First off, any nausea, headache, or blurred vision?"

"Yes, no, and I wish," he muttered, exhausted form the weeks prior and his most recent tragedy.

"Okay, question time; name?" Law began, one hell of an eager beaver for something as trivial as a neurological exam.

"Killer," the blond grumbled, upset about being awoken and having to do through something so ridiculous.

"Age?" Law continued while scratching notes on a clipboard.

"Twenty-four," Killer sighed, sitting up perfectly straight. He was tempted to sucker punch the doctor and go back to sleep, but he knew that things wouldn't end well if he did.

"Occupation?" the Heart captain continued, almost too quickly.

"First Mate on the Kid Pirate ship," the scythe-user was starting to be annoyed.

Location?" Law admitted to it being a tricky question, but it would determine how aware he really was. He also wanted to see his rival trip up on the quiz.

"Um, your ship," Killer paused and halfheartedly scanned the room, "specifically, your sick bay. Are we done yet?"

"No. Height and weight?" this was more of a crapshoot on awareness, but Law was curious for a reaction.

"Figure it out yourself and none of your business," the blond growled, more than a little irked.

"Last one: sexual orientation?" His tone was perfectly even, but Law was giggling like a naughty schoolgirl on the inside.

"Your mother," Killer deadpanned and flopped back onto the mattress. He was out like a light, snoring softly and contently, if that was possible.

"Smartass…" the tattooed man pouted. But Killer passed the test, which was all that mattered, aside from Law's bizarre form of entertainment. He plucked the crusty tissue out from his nose since the bleeding had stopped and tossed it in the biohazard bin, bored once gain. As he pulled a chair up next to Kid, he propped his plastered ankle on the bed, ready for a catnap, when Kid woke up.

"Whoa!" he yelled, sitting straight up. Law, greatly spooked, stumbled off his swivel chair and onto the sheets in front of the redhead, who was trying to take in everything around him. "Trafalgar? What the fuck happened? Wait—I'm back to normal!" he rejoiced.

"Yes, you are—MMPH!" the Heart captain was cut off as Kid had snatched him up into his arms and was absolutely smothering his open mouth with his own. It was a messy French kiss, and Law tasted like coffee and mint. The smaller man was taken by _huge _surprise, but slowly began to enjoy it, inching his own tongue into Kid's and absorbing the emptiness. There was a faint flavor of strong liquor and something mild he couldn't quite place, but the thought became irrelevant as Kid broke it off for breath.

"You have no idea how long I've waited to do that," he panted ever so slightly, never being happier to have his deep, dangerous voice back.

"Same here," was Law's only reply. Their mouths found they're ways back to one another, and they shut the world out, too blissful and relieved to care about anything else in the world.

**Hahaha! Little kissus for ya! I figured Bonney's power couldn't be all that easy to handle, so I made Kid suffer. **

***SPOILER ALERT!* I planned to end this with my first-ever attempt at sex, but with my mom becoming more and more into this, and Law being injured, it will end with fluff. Yeah, momma doesn't know I like guyxguy. I hope she doesn't find out. **

**FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, _REVIEW! _**

**I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WOULD DO WITH MY LIFE IF I DIDN'T HAVE THIS STUFF!**_**  
><strong>_


	10. MY GOD IT'S BEEN A FUCKING YEAR

**Itsy-Bitsy-Kidsy**

**WARNING! Chapter contains: an assload of OOCness, medical inaccuracy, the usual shit. DISCLAIMER! One Piece is not mine. **

**OH MY GOD I AM SO SORRY IT'S BEEN A YEAR I AM GOING TO CRY IT TOOK ME SO LONG I HAVE NO EXCUSE THIS IS THE FINAL BIT I GIVE UP. **

**THANK YOU TO ALL THOSE WHO REVIEWED AND WAITED SO PATIENTLY WHILE I WAS A SUPREME DICKHEAD. YOU ALL DESERVE CANON OTPS. **

**NOW READ AND EXECUTE ME!**

"What in the hell are you two doing?!"

Killer had awoken to Trafalgar Law sitting his now fully-grown captain's lap, kissing him passionately and rubbing his back. The blonde's angry voice snapped the two men back into reality. They had been caught swapping spit by Kid's super-protective nakama, and, though Law hadn't noticed it, Kid was pushing the back of his shirt up.

The phrase "Worst Case Scenario," pretty much summed everything up.

"Uh, well, we-" Law stammered uncharacteristically, frozen in embarrassment and shock. Killer was standing firmly, and was across the bed gap in one stride. His eyes flared with rage as he stared them both down with his strong arms folded across his partially-exposed chest. Kid, keeping his head, pulled his hands away and carefully removed Law from his legs. He stood up to his full height, not even shaking on his newly-resized appendages.

"Killer, calm down. You trusted him to watch over me, so what's the big deal of me being in a relationship with him?" the redhead questioned with a harsh glare. Killer hung his head and sighed.

"Fine… I just-!" Killer jerked his head up to meet Kid's eyes, but a shock of pain coursed through him, causing him to collapse. Kid caught him just in time, worry in his eyes.

"What happened?!" The South Blue captain hissed, suddenly defensive over his injured nakama. He felt guilty about not noticing the injury in the first place, but the thick, wild bangs kept everything from his nose up covered. Kid didn't wait for an answer before he laid Killer down on his bed, hovering over him fervently.

"Jewelry-ya kicked him in the head during her escape," Law began as he tried to put his leg over the bed. The older captain's nostrils flared in anger at the thought of the pink-haired bitch. Before Kid could explode, the tattooed man reacted, "Everyone has some explaining to do. It's been two weeks, and there have been more than a few complications. Once everything has calmed down, we can have a sit-down."

Kid sighed angrily, but didn't flip his shit. He did jump backwards when Law practically climbed over him to get to Killer, and didn't know whether to be aroused or revolted when he half-straddled the unconscious blond. "What are you doing…?"

"He shouldn't sleep with a concussion, mild or not. It was stupid of me to let him sleep earlier, but I had no choice," the raven-haired captain replied in a monotone, like it was completely normal occurrence. Kid completely recoiled at the sight of Law tapping Killer on the face, then slapping him so hard his head jolted to the side. The scarred man quickly woke up, miffed.

"The fuck was that for?!" he snarled, rubbing his reddened cheek. Kid still stood there, a little surprised and annoyed. Killer wasn't one to be babied (ha-ha), but he thought that he didn't deserve to be smacked into consciousness and find a grown man crushing his ribs. Which, of course, was handled in a mere second; with Kid around, he was already feeling better, allowing him to toss Law off like a blanket. Fortunately, Kid caught the skinny prick before he could fall onto the hard metal floor.

"You can't sleep with a head injury," Law said through his teeth. He was being held in Kid's right arm, allowing his leg to dangle.

"You were fine with it earlier!" the scarred Kid Pirate growled, annoyed with the hypocrisy.

"Well, I'm not now, so deal with it. Will you please put me down, Eustass-ya?" his last sentence was hinting sarcasm, but Kid ignored it and continued to hold his new partner. In fact, he clutched him tighter against his chest and out his legs in his other hand. Christ, he was pure muscle! Law was a smidgen embarrassed, having being held like this by another man for the second time and hearing the redhead's slow, almost precise breathing. Why did his face feel so hot all of a sudden…?

"No, I think I'll keep you like this. Killer, I'm gonna go talk to everyone; I suggest you come with me." The redhead grabbed his coat from the chair it resided on and began to walk out of the sick bay, his blond friend following him. Kid had long-since learned how to navigate the submarine, so it was easy for him to find his way to the top deck where most of both crews were anxiously waiting for their appearance. The tension from the rival crews melted away as the waterproof door creaked open.

"They're both conscious," Law declared as they stepped through the door, tempted to smack Kid into putting him down. Waves of relief crashed over Eddie and Bat-chan as they saw their superiors back to normal—for the most part, in Killer's case. The blond looked utterly exhausted without his mask on, just as he had for the excruciatingly long time he was ill. With a withering glare, he motioned to the Kid Pirate ship.

"See you all later. Kid, I expect this will remain strictly _business_," he emphasized the final word, much to the remaining crew's confusion. The redhead smirked and shook his head.

"You're the bastard that left me with him! Remember that!" Kid called after him. Smiling faintly, the fist that nailed him in the chin took him completely by surprise. The force was enough to make him release Law, who carefully landed on his good leg. "What the fuck was that for?!" the South Blue native growled, rubbing his smarting jaw angrily.

"I wanted down," Law answered like it was the most obvious reason for punching Kid, who grabbed his hoodie collar and pressed their foreheads together. The smaller man still smirked casually as the ginger glared at him. Both Eddie and Bat felt a potentially explosive situation in the making, but were too stunned to do anything about it. When they two captains began to French kiss and really enjoy it, they felt like slamming their heads into the railings.

"We'll be heading back now, Captain…" Bat-chan muttered, shuffling away, followed by Eddie.

"Fine, whatever," Kid broke the kiss long enough to speak. He eventually pulled Law back into his arms, but this time there was no protest. Yet again, they savored each other's flavors in what was, most likely, the second most intimate way possible. Fortunately for the new lovers, the metal deck of Law's ship had been vacated by all other crew members; nobody saw Kid trail a hand down Law's back and settle on his rear, squeezing gently. He had the most _perfect_ ass.

"Mmmm," Law groaned, his mouth too preoccupied to form words. He too was groping, but with much more force. He wasn't one to give up and in easily; however, the massive cast he wore got in the way, making things much more difficult, too.

"Oh, I just remembered," Kid declared after finally taking a literal breather, "we still need to pay you." Law stared at him, confused. He had forgotten about that part of the deal—Killer had already given them the two million Beli, and promised another two million after Kid was back to normal.

"Ah, about that… I don't want the rest of the money," Law was being perfectly honest. He saw no need for it; the baby supplies he had purchased for Kid only cost about half of what he was given. As many headaches as Kid had given him, he enjoyed the redhead's stay. It gave him a chance to finally be a big brother!

"Are you sure? It was a part of the deal," Kid began, surprised by the refusal of payment.

"Yeah, it just doesn't seem right to take it," the grey-eyed captain shrugged. Was it just from staring at Kid's mane of hair, or was he starting to feel lightheaded…?

"Alright, whatever you want. Hey, are you okay?" Kid noticed that Law was going a little spacy and gave him a tiny shake. The smaller man rested his forehead on the very solid chest in front of him, blinking some of the blurriness away.

"Nngh…m'fine. Just shouldn't be on my feet to long with my wounds…" he muttered tiredly. Without hesitation, Kid swung Law back into his arms, making sure to keep his injured leg elevated. He had broken enough bones in his time to know that they needed elevation. Hell, he should've been in bed, preferably sleeping! "Thanks, Eustass-ya."

"No problem," Kid strode back inside the submarine, feeling Law's body heat seep into the bare skin on his chest.

"By the way," Law murmured, eyes closed, "what do you want to do with all the baby stuff?"

There was a pause and a snicker. Law could _hear_ Kid grinning like a maniac.

"We're going to burn it. Duh."

* * *

><p>Eddie really didn't want to go back to the Heart Pirate ship. It was a weird-ass place—so dark and cold and sharp-smelling. But, his captain needed him for some strange reason, and he wasn't one to disobey. The one with the stupid hat, Penguin, watched him from the top deck and motioned for him to jump up when he was close enough. He landed easily, but almost fell back at the sight he was greeted with. Kid lounged against the sleeping polar bear; Law nestled comfortably in his lap.<p>

"You needed me, Master Kid?" he noticed the shattered baby crib and ripped-up clothes; the remains of stuffed animals were just almost a _little_ cruel in his eyes. He completely ignored the scraps of strawberry-print fabric, really not wanting to know what they were once.

"Sorry to be petty, but I need you to torch this shit," Kid answered, motioning towards the pile of ruined infant necessities. Eddie shrugged, stepped back and opened his mouth to its added width. There was a faint hiss, and a jet of flame sprayed out onto the flammable mound. He closed his mouth before anything else caught.

"Anything else?" he didn't mind the pyromaniacs, but he wanted to go back to his own ship. Also, not see his ruthless, _murdering_ captain _cuddle_ with the enemy.

"Just that," the redhead pointed to the plastic highchair. "Need to blast it midair; don't want to melt and ruin Trafalgar's decks." Jean Bart gripped the lightweight stool in one hand and threw it up and over the side. With great reflexes, Eddie nailed it with a stream of heat, watching it melt as it fell to the sea.

"If that's it, I'm going back," Eddie declared, not even waiting for an answer. Immediately after he left, Shachi came out with marshmallows, chocolate, and sweet crackers. S'mores, what else? More crewmembers trickled out, but not all; some had more sweets and sticks to roast with, but all had alcohol of some kind.

"Excellent~" Law called out to nobody as the bag of squishy sugar was passed around. Being too lazy to sit up and roast it like a normal person, he equipped his Devil Fruit powers to help him out. "Room…" he engulfed the fire with a dome, "Shambles!" marshmallows suddenly appeared in the blaze. Kid couldn't help but laugh.

"Nice, Trafalgar. Real nice," he chuckled. The Heart captain rolled his eyes, broke the barrier, and began to smash a S'more together. The redhead snickered even more as the melted white candy smeared on his friend's face. Law blushed slightly, knowing what it had to look like; his face burned more when Kid licked some of the marshmallow off the side of his mouth. He heard some of his men laugh like schoolgirls, starting to get drunk once again.

"Hey, pass it around!" the injured captain barked at his subordinates. They obeyed, and the same liquor Kid had seen being packed away just a few days before head to them. Law grabbed the first one, taking an oversized swig and starting to giggle. "Second time in a month, I'll die young at this rate!"

"Don't mind if I do," Kid declared as he swiped the bottle and drank. Law pouted exaggeratedly, wanting Kid's attention more than anything. He was already starting to get a little tipsy, but he could still take more. "Want another?" the paler male inquired, a nail appearing out of nowhere in particular.

"Hell yeah," Law replied, shifting himself in a more snuggly position against Kid's side. He crossed his legs, the bad one resting on top to keep the blood flowing properly. Another puffy treat was speared and heated to perfection—slightly charred, but not ruined. It zipped back at the redhead, who held it still in the air; Law carefully grabbed it with two crackers with chocolate in between them. The nail itself was cool, but he didn't want to take any chances.

As the crewmates enjoyed themselves, Law sucked down even more booze. Sooner, rather than later, Kid had to confiscate his drink; it was their last night together for what was probably going to be a long time. He didn't want to spend it cleaning puke off himself and his new partner. It was sad—it took being turned into an infant and left with Law for him to realize how much he liked the man. Worse, it _was_ their first date, and they were going to be separated, again.

"What's the matter, Kid?" Law asked, poking the larger man in the ribs.

"Hrm?" he looked down from the horizon he had been staring at. "Oh, nothing. Just thinking-" the raven cut him off with a quick, hard kiss.

"You should really do less of that," he teased, planting another on his cheek. "It could get you and many others hurt," he continued, playfully climbing Kid's broad chest as best he could with a leg made of lead.

"Yeah," the South Blue captain muttered as Law winded his arms around his neck and shoulders. More and more kisses were planted as Law settled in Kid's lap, those grey eyes becoming more and more seductive. He pressed against Kid's pale, muscular neck with his lips. "Whoa, easy there!" the redhead suddenly yelled; Law had begun to suck and chew at the spot, trying to leave a hickey. Law released the sore spot and chuckled in Kid's ear.

"Sensitive now, are we?" he mocked. Kid glared at him with little bite and squeezed him around the middle.

"Now's not the time for that…" his words had a bitter, longing tone to them. He really wanted to fuck Law into that soft, circular bed of his, but knew that it would be damn near impossible while he was laid up like that. Plus, it was still their first date—as frisky as Law was getting, Kid wasn't risking some drunken "You took advantage of me!" drama. The raven-haired man shrugged and rubbed against Kid, wiggling down in his lap.

* * *

><p>They stayed like that for hours; laughing, talking, and drinking. Kid, despite his disdain for sweets, had some chocolate—licked and kissed from Law's face, of course. Faster than they realized, the sun began to set, and tipsy crewmembers began to wander back inside the submarine. Law was suddenly exhausted, and started to doze in Kid's arms, completely trusting of his muscular friend. As Kid watched the sky turn from pink-orange to dark blue, Shachi came outside with a bag filled with his belongings. He handed them to Kid without a word, intimidated by the rival Supernova.<p>

"Thanks," he muttered as the Heart nakama strode back in, tense. Removing his signature lipstick and rolling it on with a practiced hand, Kid smiled at the darkening sky. It was slowly becoming the color of Law's beautiful hair, which he stroked gently with one hand. Unfortunately, it woke him up.

"Mmmrph…what time is it?" he mumbled, rubbing his bleary eyes.

"Sorry, didn't mean to wake you. Hardly over an hour since you went out," Kid answered, rubbing Law's bony shoulder to warm him up. The air was starting to cool, but Law hardly noticed, having grown up in the North Blue. "I think it's about time to go in."

"Has everyone else left?" Law asked, wrapping his arms around Kid's midsection and squeezing playfully. His face was flushed from the alcohol, but he was far from the level of smashed he was at the other night.

"Everyone but the bear," the redhead pointed with his thumb to the furry, snoring lump. Law sighed, knowing that the fun was over.

"Bepo, time to get up," he called halfheartedly, and the bear shot right up, fully aware and in a defensive stance.

"Captain, what is it?" Bepo demanded, turning to his master. Kid chuckled aloud and Law smiled at his animal friend's dedication.

"Nothing, Bepo. It's just time to head inside," he waved towards the door. The anthropomorphic creature bowed and mumbled sorry, but sprinted inside with the speed of an animal much smaller than he. "Always enthusiastic…" Law smiled, warm-hearted. Bepo would always be cute in his eyes, never outgrowing that helpless little fur ball he took in years ago.

"Come on," Kid laughed, slinging Law into his arms bridal style for the second time that day. With the smaller man cuddling his new lover, they marched inside, heading straight for the captain's quarters. After stripping him down, the redhead lovingly laid the still tipsy Law down on his bed, making sure that his bad leg was elevated. With the sheets up to his chest, Law snuggled against Kid when he laid down next to him, making sure to remove his monstrous coat first.

Feeling strangely gentle, Kid planted light kisses on Law's face, starting at his forehead and traveling down to his cheeks. Faint traces of lipstick were left, but they barely stood out against Law's complexion. Cheeky as always, he nudged the larger man's inner thigh with his knee, grinning.

"You of all people should know we can't," Kid breathed. He gasped slightly when Law rubbed his groin, smirking expectantly. A vein in Kid's forehead protruded from his anger and mild arousal. "Stop that," he growled firmly, clutching Law's hand to his chest. It took an enormous amount of self-restraint to keep the redhead from completely devouring his bedmate.

"Awww, you're no fun!" Law pouted, sticking his lower lip out, melting the frown off of Kid's face. He sighed and held Law to his broad chest; wiry arms wrapped around his neck in response. Soft lips pressed against his collarbone, humming into his bone.

"Law…" Kid murmured, cradling the back of the other man's head, coming down to kiss his hairline. "Damn it…" his unoccupied hand clenched in frustration. Things were guaranteed to get worse from there—being wanted pirates never made real relationships possible.

"Don't get so upset; everything will be fine, I promise," Law consoled, knowing what Kid had been thinking about.

He sighed, "If you say so," untangling himself just enough to hold the smaller man and escape with minimal disturbance when finally fell asleep. Spooning was always the best way to sleep, in his opinion. "I'll always love you."

"I know. I love you, too."

* * *

><p>In Killer's own not-so-humble opinion, Kid returned heavily drunk on something. Upon further inspection of his smeared lipstick, forming hickeys and satisfied grin, it was Law. Stewed to his eyeballs on medication for his head, he wasn't afraid to speak his mind, not that he ever was.<p>

"You know I don't approve," he declared as Kid passed him by to head to his bedroom.

"I'm well aware of that," Kid noted, not worried at all while he instructed his crew to sail away. The blond sighed angrily as the heavy coat of his captain came to rest on his shoulders. The pair quietly filed below deck to Kid's lavish accommodations, Killer wanting to keep the rest of the conversation private.

"You're just going to leave him? After all that? He was shot by a Celestial Dragon, for fuck's sake!" he hissed, shrugging the beast of a jacket to the floor. "Things _are_ going to get worse from here on out, and I _know_ you know that."

"I thought you didn't care what happened to him," Kid smirked when he felt Killer's intense glare attempt to bore a few holes in his own egoistical head. He plopped down on the satiny, out-of-place couch and propped his booted feet up on the equally alien coffee table, sack of belongings spilling out next to him. Furniture so elegant didn't belong on a ship of men at their levels of sanity and ruthlessness.

"Him? No. You? _Yes_. He's likely to have an even higher bounty because of this insane shit that happened while you were with him!" Killer was near hysterics. "_They'll_ find out that you like him and they'll use it against you!"

Kid stood up, frowning, and held his shaking first mate by his shoulders and met his gorgeous eyes. "Our bounties are bound to skyrocket after the incident at the Human Auction House. What happened the other day will barely affect his at all. Besides, that's not what's upsetting you," he articulated carefully as Killer's lip trembled slightly.

"I jus' don' wan' anytin' t' happe' t' ya cos a 'im!" the scarred man sobbed, all composure lost as the medicines made him vulnerable to his own emotions. Kid gave a pitying smile and ruffled Killer's hair as he rubbed his eyes childishly. Leave to the one man he'd known since he was knee-high to a grasshopper to worry about him.

"I'll be okay, you don't have to worry. We've made it this far, nothing's gonna stop us now," he muttered as he scooped up his coat and draped it over his friend, who pulled it close. "Get to bed, Killer. You need the rest," he ordered gently, placing a small kiss on the bang-smothered forehead. Killer sniffed and nodded, shuffling off to his own quarters. Brushing the stray hair away from his face, Kid meandered back to his own bedroom.

He really had no idea how much he missed that creaky four-poster until he sprawled out on it, tensing and relaxing his muscles with his eyes closed. The last few weeks had been the strangest of his life, beating the time he found out he had Devil Fruit powers of his own by a landslide. Honestly, despite the humiliation and frustration he had experienced, he would never take it back because of Law.

"But next time, we'll meet on_ better_ terms…" Kid promised himself, tucking a hand behind his pillow as he felt the ship rock, setting sail to who knows where.

**YES THAT WAS A BAD ENDING I DON'T CARE I GIVE UP IT WAS ALL JUST BAD.**

**I'M NOT GOING TO ASK FOR REVIEWS BECAUSE I DON'T DESERVE THEM. **

**I AM JUST GLAD TO FINISH THIS PIECE OF CRAP AND I'M SORRY IF I EVER LET YOU DOWN. **


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